Not long after my interview with Julie*, I read sad tiger for an interview with the author of this story. A coincidence, but a vaguely nauseating coincidence: the two stories plunge into this nameless filth, incest.
It was the Marie-Vincent Foundation, which treats children who have suffered sexual abuse, which introduced me to Julie. She wanted to speak, to testify. It was his daughter who suffered incest. Let’s call her M., the little one didn’t want an assumed name, she just wanted to read “M” in the newspaper for reasons that concern her…
M. was therefore 8 years old when she confided in her mother.
Mother and daughter watched reality TV My life at 600 pounds. The little girl asked her mother why people become so overweight.
The mother explained to her daughter that there could be many reasons. Like childhood trauma. Here, take this participant, Julie explained to M., she experienced incest…
“What is incest? asked the child.
—It’s when a person is sexually assaulted by someone in their family…”
And that’s when the bomb exploded in the living room and in Julie’s life:
“That’s what I’m experiencing with X,” the little girl replied.
She named the attacker, a minor from her entourage.
She described gestures and places in too much detail for it to be an invention.
Julie listened, stunned.
“When my daughter finished telling me her story, I asked her to go put on her pajamas.
—What happened afterward?
— Afterwards, I went to throw up. »
I say, regarding the little one’s confidence: “a bomb”. This is the image Julie used. This is also the image used by Anne-Charlotte Givern-Héroux, the therapist who provided therapeutic follow-up for M. and his mother.
Because Marie-Vincent also has a therapy program for parents, in order to “equip” them to help their child rebuild after sexual abuse.
The minor attacker was arrested and charged. He was found guilty. Wrote a letter of apology.
But for M., immediately, there was nothing. Or almost. She was seen at Marie-Vincent for evaluation. Then his name was put on a waiting list for 14 months. That’s less than the 18 months not long ago.
I emphasize that the first police interview with M. was carried out on the premises of the Foundation. It may seem trivial, but it is not: a police station is not as friendly as Marie-Vincent’s interview rooms. Medical and gynecological examinations can also be done in the Marie-Vincent Foundation building, in the Angus district, in Rosemont.
The idea: that the child is not lugged everywhere, left and right, so that as many interventions as possible can be done at the Marie-Vincent Foundation… Including therapy.
Because M. ended up accessing therapy, 15 weeks of individual meetings with psychosocial worker Anne-Charlotte Givern-Héroux, sessions of 60 to 90 minutes. Then, afterwards, group therapy with other child victims, for 14 weeks, sessions of 2 to 3 hours.
Julie tells me how the attacks changed her daughter, transformed her into a little ball of anger and anxiety: “She was incapable of doing certain things. Take the metro, go to a restaurant, go to the dentist. Walking in the street in the evening with me paralyzed her, she had panic attacks… Her heart was racing. »
And as a mother, Julie suffered. She suffered from seeing her daughter suffer. She suffered from having to remain solid, unshakeable at all times. She suffered because of her anger, her feeling of guilt…
“When I arrived at Marie-Vincent, I told them: “I would like to speak to the counselor, but I warn you: I will never be able to get rid of this feeling of guilt…”
There is a terrible passage in the book sad tiger. The author Neige Sinno writes: “There is never happy ending for someone who was abused as a child. »
Little M. sent me extracts from her diary, written by hand, where she talks about her therapy at the Marie-Vincent Foundation, which had just ended: “I remember the tears, the sobs and the this pain […] I will never forget this pain. I feel free from it now […] I am HAPPIER than ever. »
Obviously, life is long: no one knows how the trauma of the incestuous attack could manifest itself in M.’s heart in the years to come.
But Julie describes her daughter’s therapy as a kind of miracle: “It’s as if my little girl had been given back to me, the way she was before…”
I’m not telling you all this to contradict M’s observation.me Sinno, for whom there is no happy ending, a happy ending for the children who were abused. Mme Sinno is probably right.
But Julie has a message: therapy is beneficial for child victims of sexual abuse like her daughter… as long as they are taken care of quickly. The work of the Marie-Vincent Foundation has been beneficial for her daughter: Julie does not dare imagine what M. would be experiencing today if she had not been supervised by Anne-Charlotte in these bright premises, literally and figuratively.
And it was beneficial for Julie, too.
“In group therapy, I listened to other parents. I didn’t judge them. I was not in condemnation. At one point, I said to myself: if I don’t judge them, why would I judge myself? »
* assumed first name, to protect the child’s identity