A humorous social experiment illustrates the mental load women carry in households, highlighted by a TikTok influencer’s observation about an untouched empty soap dispenser. This phenomenon reflects a broader issue, where women often manage unseen responsibilities like laundry and meal planning, while men overlook these tasks. A survey reveals that many women face significant mental strain, impacting their well-being. Strategies to address this imbalance emphasize communication and awareness among partners to foster a more equitable distribution of domestic duties.
The Soap Experiment: Unpacking the Mental Load on Women
Imagine stepping into the shower, the hot water cascading down, only to discover that the bottle of shower gel is completely empty. In this scenario, what would a person typically do? As Benjamin Muller discussed on ‘Bonjour! La Matinale’, the usual response is to toss the empty bottle and head out to purchase a new one. However, it seems that this action is often overlooked by men, leaving the responsibility to women. This social experiment, humorously dubbed ‘the soap experiment,’ shines a light on the persistent mental load that women bear in households.
The Filling Fairy Doesn’t Exist: A Social Commentary
The conversation surrounding this topic gained traction thanks to a popular U.S. influencer, Kay (@theearlybirdhasanxiety), who shared a TikTok video about leaving an empty soap dispenser untouched for an entire week. She humorously pointed out that neither her husband nor children thought to throw it away, opting instead to unscrew the bottle for the last drops. Her jest about the ‘filling fairy’ highlights a significant issue: the invisible mental load that mothers have to navigate daily.
The mental load encompasses all those tasks and responsibilities that often go unnoticed by other family members. For instance, Benjamin Muller notes that in 80% of couples, it is women who take the initiative to start laundry. Simple tasks, such as changing the last roll of toilet paper or dealing with unopened mail, are frequently ignored by men, who may choose to leave these chores undone for weeks. As Muller emphasizes, these responsibilities seem to be invisible to many men.
Moreover, women often shoulder the burden of planning meals for the entire week, managing grocery shopping, and ensuring that household supplies are replenished. As Kay aptly states, “the mental load is overwhelming.” It’s not merely about completing tasks but being the one who identifies, plans, and reminds others of these duties.
The Impact of Mental Load on Women’s Well-Being
According to a barometer released in December 2024 by Ifop and the RSE News agency, 71% of the 1,000 women surveyed reported experiencing a significant mental load throughout their day. Nora Barsali, the founder of News RSE, highlighted that active women continue to manage the bulk of family organization, often at the expense of their partners, careers, and personal time. Achieving gender equality within the family should ideally lead to a more equitable distribution of domestic responsibilities.
The repercussions of this mental load are alarming; 73% of women reported a decline in their physical or mental health, with 38% experiencing chronic fatigue and 33% reporting increased stress and anxiety at work. This underscores the urgent need for a shift in how household tasks are divided. One effective strategy shared in the comments of Kay’s video involved a TikTok user who began texting her husband every time she completed a task he claimed to handle. This approach ultimately made him more aware of the situation, highlighting the importance of communication in alleviating the mental load.