Big Gérard, drunk as hell.
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Fat Gérard peeing in a plastic bottle while sitting on a plane about to take off.
The big Gérard who sings the praises of Vladimir Putin.
The fat Gérard who told an American journalist that he had participated in numerous rapes when he was a child.
Fat Gérard headbutting a photographer.
The big, completely drunk Gérard who goes on the César stage when it’s his daughter who has just received an award.
Fat Gérard who calls a journalist a slut.
The big Gérard who hits a motorist.
Fat Gérard who dances with the Chechen president, suspected of having plotted numerous kidnappings and assassinations.
Fat Gérard taken into custody for driving drunk.
Fat Gérard who moves to Belgium to pay less taxes.
Fat Gérard who says that Russia is “a great democracy”.
EVEL KNIEVEL
It’s been years since Gérard Depardieu’s life has been a shit show.
Man has been multiplying his escapades and provocations for years.
But we watched. We didn’t look down.
As we watched Gainsbourg when he sang a song glorifying incest with his daughter, Charlotte, or when he told singer Whitney Houston that he wanted to fuck her, live, on TV.
We look at these monsters like we look at stuntmen who jump on motorbikes over 15 buses in the middle of a race track.
Attracted not by the possibility that they succeed (an acrobat who lands on his feet after having performed three pirouettes in the air, nothing more banal), but by the possibility that they slip and crash.
And when these monsters finally lose control and enter the fence, what do we say?
“Oh my God, what a scandal! How terrible it is!”
As if we were surprised!
As if we were falling from the clouds!
As if we never imagined that these guys could go so far!
Duh!
That’s precisely why we watched them, why they fascinated us!
Because they were monsters!
That’s what we asked them!
To shock! To provoke! To make us blush!
To ignore conventions!
To say a big “F**k you” to the whole world!
And when they end up lowering their panties and showing their wézi-wézo, are we playing offended virgins?
Do we point the finger at them, criticize them, condemn them?
But what hypocrisy!
THE INHABITANT SOUP
Let me be understood, I in no way excuse the actions of Gérard Depardieu.
The man is a pig, a cad.
But let’s stop cloaking ourselves in morality!
Why are newspapers and gossip sites so popular? Because we love gossip!
We never have enough!
We always want more!
But what has so-and-so done again? What did so-and-so say again?
Being surprised that Gérard Depardieu behaves rudely is like entering a sex shop and be outraged that they sell dildos!
Hello?
Does it shock you that the greatest athletes in the world take drugs? But what do you think? That you can break the 100 meter world record just by eating kale?
Do you really think that Marilyn Manson has an orderly life, that he makes love to his wife in the marital bed and in missionary position on Saturday nights when there is no hockey?
Depardieu is like Habitant soup.
There’s a little bit of us in there.
BELIEFS AGAINST SCIENCE
Everyone is criticizing the fact that the Montreal Children’s Hospital encourages young people suffering from cancer to take advantage of the “magic power of crystals” to alleviate their pain.
Indeed, it is absurd.
But isn’t the fact that hospitals accept adults refusing to receive blood transfusions for religious reasons just as aberrant?
If esotericism and the New Age have no place in a hospital, I don’t see why religion (which denies science) would.
Let’s be consistent!
“LIVING TOGETHER” AMONG BEASTS
According to The duty, a female parrot is causing a mess at the Montreal Biodôme. The bird – a macaw – is so aggressive that it prevents other parrots from living peacefully in society.
The situation is such that the Biodôme decided to plant an additional tree in its fake “tropical forest” in order to accommodate (and isolate) the bitch.
An idea: instead of accommodating this bad tenant, why don’t we simply force the bird to take an Equity, Diversity and Inclusion workshop, like many companies do?
This way, the animal will learn the ABCs of “living together”!
HEALTH: BAD NEWS FOR MONTREAL?
Health system reform will allow nurses to maintain their seniority even if they decide to move and practice in another region.
Good news?
Not for Montreal.
As a doctor friend told me: “Several health system employees, stifled by rising rents in Montreal, wanted to move to the region, where the cost of living is cheaper. But they didn’t do it so as not to lose their seniority. Now, nothing will force them to stay in the metropolis! We can therefore expect a real exodus…”