Élyse Marquis lived it. On camera, to boot. Her daughter Alice left the nest, went to see elsewhere if she was there, to move into an apartment. A four-episode documentary released on Tou.tv Extra from Tuesday exposes this delicate subject, with its rollercoaster emotions: empty nest syndrome.
We met with the main stakeholders, the mother and daughter, last week to discuss it. First observation: obviously, the famous “syndrome”, sadness, nostalgia, or “vertigo”, as says Élyse Marquis, actress and host, who speaks in When the children leave the nest as “Alice’s mother”, was short-lived. Mother and daughter giggle here, exchange knowing winks there. The famous end of something undoubtedly happened, but seems to have evolved for the better.
So much the better, moreover, since this is precisely the aim of the series, an original idea by Ève Déziel, produced by Marianne L’Heureux, for Véro.tv: to put words to a stage of life that we talk about well. little, and which hangs more or less under the noses of all parents.
You know, that moment when pride mixes with painful nostalgia, when you feel torn between the feeling of work accomplished and the sadness of realizing that time has passed? So fast, too fast? Can this transition be done “gently”? This is the question which underlies, as we will have understood, the four episodes, which follow Élyse Marquis and her daughter, until the move, while presenting some varied testimonies here and there.
A word from parents
If the series skims over the phenomenon and remains essentially on the surface, not to say in the anecdote (we would have taken many more experts from different fields, but one and the same psychologist – excellent Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier – intervenes in both first episodes that we were able to watch), it has the immense merit of giving voice to several parents, who thus put words, and feelings, on this pivotal stage in the lives of parents.
IMAGE PROVIDED BY RADIO-CANADA
Élyse Marquis and her daughter, Alice, indulge in When the children leave the neston Véro.tv.
Let’s highlight, in the third episode, the cultural angle with the actress Nathalie Doummar, or, in the fourth, the phenomenon seen by fathers (with Sophie Faucher and Michel Labrecque).
In terms of feelings, precisely: “it was especially before that I experienced a lot of stress,” continues Élyse Marquis, with the same authenticity that we find in the documentary. These long months leading up to D-Day, at the end of last summer, she asked herself a lot: “What will happen to me? »
This questioning of identity, in the face of this “enormous change” that the psychologist interviewed exposes here with accuracy and sensitivity. “I can no longer be a parent in the same way,” analyzes Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier in the documentary. Basically: you have to “welcome the unknown”, and once that is said, open yourself to a range of possibilities. “Now what do I do with this space?” » An open question that invites creativity, it must be emphasized.
Why so much stress, exactly? Élyse Marquis puts forward some hypotheses: “There is something a little taboo, she believes. We are proud, they fly with their own wings […], but there is a void too, really. » A downright “mourning”, several parents point out. Consequence: “many experience it in silence, and feel alone. »
Note that, for her part, her daughter Alice experienced nothing but happiness. “I couldn’t wait,” she said, smiling. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time! »
The importance of dialogue
Ultimately, no, as we have said, mother and daughter have not lost their famous “bond”.
I’m still a mother, but things are changing! I still do taxis, I still organize deals! […] But I am no longer the mother who directs, I am no longer the mother or the friend who is interested and amazed!
Elyse Marquis
Any advice on how to get there? “Don’t be afraid to talk about it,” replies Élyse Marquis without hesitation. She adds this advice given by a father in the series: continue the activities we did before with our child, whether training, theater or something else, even alone. “It’s hard,” she confirms, “but otherwise, we stay frozen! » And then instead of scattering to the right or the left, “find happiness in what we have”!
We dare one last question to Élyse Marquis: at what age did she leave the nest? “Sixteen years old,” she bursts out laughing. And I never wondered what it would do to my parents! And that’s very good, it’s in the order of things: when we’re young, we stand on our own two feet. Parents must encourage their children, then… we deal with our emotions afterwards! »
From Tuesday March 19 on Véro.tv (Tou.tv Extra)