In a world of uncertainty where everyone is chasing time, is happiness found in the unexpected and spontaneity? In impromptu evenings? Yes ! It is essential not to always plan everything down to the smallest detail in order to lighten your daily life and make room for wonder, according to the experts we spoke to.
“Not everyone has the same tolerance for the unexpected,” says psychologist Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier. When we plan everything, we ensure that there is no shortage, that everything is planned in advance, it’s reassuring. It’s a way of dealing with anxiety in the face of uncertainty, because I know what’s coming, I’ve planned for it, and there won’t be any boredom or feelings of loneliness. »
According to the associate professor at the University of Quebec in Montreal, a large part of the population is inclined to plan everything.
PHOTO MARCO CAMPANOZZI, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier, clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Quebec in Montreal
Maybe it’s because many families have a hectic lifestyle and are forced to plan everything down to the smallest detail? Children play sports and multiple activities, you have to plan because otherwise, you won’t succeed.
Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier, clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Quebec in Montreal
This is the case of Sonia Hernandez, consultant and partner, mother of two children. “My agenda is well defined, and everything is planned. After work, my husband and I divide tasks, we know who takes who to soccer and hockey, who takes the dog out, who takes care of dinner. Then, in the evening, I am scheduled to work again and go to bed! I don’t have the choice to plan everything, I don’t have time to improvise an evening… spontaneity? Yes, I need more in my life, but my schedule is too tight and I might regret it the next day,” she says. “And I have to add my kickboxing to all that!” “, she says.
Ode to the unexpected
And yet, it is important to leave room for leisure, for creativity, even in everyday life. “You have to plan for moments of non-planning! An impromptu evening feels good! It’s nourishing, it’s precious and it’s very simple, because we haven’t planned anything, precisely! We won’t stress about preparing an elaborate dinner, that’s the advantage. We’re going to propose at the last minute, come to the house, we’re going to do something simple, we’re going to take the time to chat, just see each other without the constraints of planning. Because you know, by planning everything, we put pressure on ourselves, we want the evening to be perfect, and that makes things complicated,” notes psychologist Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier.
Tania Tzakova, engineer, mother of two children, considers herself a spontaneous person. “I am organized in my work, but on weekends, I will not put anything on the schedule or plan anything. I prefer to improvise a dinner with friends and I love it,” she says.
Sylvaine Messica has made the unexpected her way of life. Speaker, she is the author of The power of spontaneity. She believes that we live in a society that is too rigid and formatted. “Uncertainty is a much more part of life than before, so you have to know how to manage it. »
PHOTO JEAN-FRANÇOIS DEROUBAIX, PROVIDED BY SYLVAINE MESSICA
Sylvaine Messica, speaker and author of The power of spontaneity
Who looks ahead 10 or 20 years? Before, you kept the same job throughout your career, whereas today, you change jobs, lives, countries, careers.
Sylvaine Messica, speaker and author from The Power of Spontaneity
According to her, spontaneity is full of benefits and allows us to experience moments of wonder. “The joy of the unexpected is immense, because meeting people like this is a very powerful experience! And very often, these are friendships that will last. We must not forget the little things in life that make us feel good. Surprising someone is extraordinary, it’s magical! », exclaims Sylvaine Messica.
Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelleter shares this opinion. “There is a bond that will be created when we are spontaneous, because we will express what we feel and that allows us to connect with others in a more authentic way, which will be beneficial,” she says. For those who always have ultra-busy schedules, she advises in small doses to leave some space for the unexpected and to let yourself be carried away.
“When you keep your mind occupied all the time, you are constantly in action, there is no room for spontaneity. It can be uncomfortable for many people, but you just need to plan your week a little less, and thus tame a certain amount of uncertainty. Afterwards, we analyze the result: what did it allow me to discover? Do I get anything positive out of it? Meetings ? Beautiful moments? We will then realize that there are advantages and benefits,” she concludes.