The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Bruce*, 79.
He has been married to the same woman for over 60 years. When he talks about her, his eyes shine and his face smiles. He is happy, and it shows. His secret? Swinging. Here’s why. And especially how.
Bruce is waiting for us with a red scarf around his neck, in a Pacini in Drummondville. Seated a little apart, the bubbly septuagenarian gives himself up with enthusiasm. “Talking about sexuality, I like that! he begins with a radiant smile. “She’s the first woman in my life, and it’s going to be the last!” I am so happy. »
Sacred throw of the dice, when you think about it. He still remembers their meeting, completely fortuitous. Around his 16 years, his mother organizes a party and he must come accompanied. He doesn’t know a single girl, so he shouts at the first pretty, tall blonde who passes. She nods, and voila. “Oh she loved to kiss,” he recalls, recalling their very first rapprochement. “I was hooked! They never left each other.
He still laughs at her audacity. Nevertheless. The early days are a bit bumpy. “We didn’t talk to each other, we didn’t know what to say to each other! But they got to know each other, dated for a while, then got married. Their wedding night, at age 21, takes place in a motel in Plattsburgh. “We had never made love before, but I knew she liked sex. We masturbated together! “, he confides quite naturally. And then ? “It went well! »
Then came the children, and Bruce, who had never known other women, “got the taste”. “Yes, I make love with other women, fucks, let’s hear it! “, he says, as an evidence. He no longer remembers how many (“two or three, six or seven, I’m not sure”), but he sees himself coming home and confiding. “In the discussion, I try to convince her to fuck with another man. […] You can ! […] It’s nothing, it won’t change our lives, we will continue. Me, I always thought that in love as in sex, we must be equal…”
If I allow myself, she must allow herself. But she didn’t dare… So I had to convince her!
bruce
Clarification: yes, he “allowed himself”, as he says, but each time, it was “ordinary”.
Still, time goes by and Madame ends up, one evening, going out with a boss. “She was crazy, all excited, it happened at the Queen Elizabeth,” he recalls. She told me everything afterwards! »
And ? “And I was so happy! Obviously, it was much more exciting when we then fucked together! We wanted more. We wanted to meet. As if we had missed something! And it’s always been like that! »
She starts again with another (“she liked that change!”), and Bruce shines even more. ” At that time [il a 25 ans], I looked after the children, he says. It was not revenge at all, but liberation! »
And an excitement. “I was happy for her and excited for her,” he continues. And when she came back, I wanted her to tell me everything! I found that very exciting! »
The excitement wears off and a few years later, Bruce still feels that they are drifting apart. “We did our things on our side, we were less together, he laments. So I had to find a solution…”
By chance, while they are on vacation, our young couple (they are not 30 years old) come across a classified ad. Not trivial, like: “evening for couples who would like to meet couples”. “That would be the fun if we answered that! “, reacts madam. A reaction that changes their lives. Or who saves their couple. “Otherwise, I don’t know where we would be,” says Bruce. We hardly spoke anymore. Swinging saved our couple. That’s really it! »
The solution ”
They respond to said announcement, and one Saturday evening later, in a hotel bar, around thirty couples like them are gathered to exchange slow. “It was exciting, it’s unbelievable! The very first time, they leave with three couples. Bruce ends up with a girl, his wife with a man, each in a separate room. “And when I saw her come out of the bedroom, he remembers, she was beautiful! So beautiful ! »
These evenings will become their Saturday night routine for a few years. “It was our best moments. With all the excitement that implies before, during, after. A few details have changed, however, over time: “One couple only, and in the same room. That’s what we preferred. »
Speaking of excitement afterwards: “During the week, confides Bruce, when we made love, we were excited! It’s this whole atmosphere that we loved, it really brought us closer, a lot, a lot, a lot…”
No, he was never afraid that feelings would come to mingle with their adventures. At all. “Never,” he says. We loved the sex! We liked it with nice couples, with whom we had affinities. »
Love is something else! Love is wanting the good of a person!
bruce
Moreover, he repeats it several times: “If she is happy, I am happy. »
Over time, Madame discovered that she liked to kiss women and Bruce, to caress men. “I discovered a little bisexual side to myself, but you know, sexuality is not cut to the square, it’s fluid, not exclusive. »
The years pass and our Bruce retires, around 55 years old. At that time, they traded swinger bars for nudist camps, in Europe in winter. Their sexual activities slowly slow down, but their complicity does not waver. “Sometimes we fucked naked on the beach. We liked being seen. »
They then migrate to Florida, still in nudist camps (known as “optional” in the United States). Not much happens there, sexually speaking. But they are fine. “It’s hot, we like to be naked and good!” And we have things in common [avec les autres] : everyone likes to be naked! »
Finally, and for 10 years, Bruce and his wife are now in residence. Their sexuality took a new turn. “Penetration has become difficult for me, because of my heart…” So?
Without warning, Bruce pulls out a pretty purple toy from a small brown bag, which he places on the table: “I bought this for him! And it’s great! It goes inside, it rubs everywhere, I recommend it! »
Our man has not finished surprising us. He’s also spoiled himself and takes two other black toys out of his surprise bag this time. “For the prostate, it’s a marvel! “, he beams.
“Wanting the sexual freedom of the other, that’s what love is,” he believes. Then, while we slip away for a moment in the little corner, he scribbles an umpteenth reflection on a small piece of paper that he hands us: “Eternal love, it is possible! ” It seems like…
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity