Posted
Update
The trial of the November 13, 2015 continued, Wednesday, October 20, with the last testimonies of the victims. Survivors who have lost a loved one without being able to help them and who see the birth of a feeling of guilt.
“I have lived with 90 ghosts for a long time.” For six years, the memory of the 90 victims of the Bataclan has not left Stéphanie Zarev, a survivor of the attacks. This memory, she even wears it every day on her wrist. On November 13, 2015, Stéphanie Zarev went to the Bataclan alone. She finds a front row seat in the pit and enjoys the concert until everyone collapses around her. Like many survivors, she developed the survivor’s guilt. “They took bullets for me and I blame myself”, testifies Stéphanie Zarev.
The guilt is even greater when she sees herself fleeing the Bataclan, stepping over the bodies of the victims. “I could have helped them, made a point of compression. I thought that I was on automatic pilot. I was on automatic pilot, my unconscious saw everything but he wanted to protect me from everything that, says Stéphanie Zarev. I tell myself that people have died when I could have helped, I feel guilty, almost an accomplice. I blame myself for being there and for being alive “.