I never thought to pay homage to the execrable one day. I imagine it’s a form of therapy. Lice are also an infinite discomfort, it is important to talk about it so as not to sink into despair. But we will have to accept that, like our inner demons, they can always come back up. I will try to start at the beginning anyway.
Who says four children says that if there is one who has them, there is a good chance that the others will too. They love each other so much that, when they find each other, they do everything glued. Nested as part of Tetris perfectly successful. “Key-padlock”, would say my boyfriend. And for the less fluid days, we could speak of entanglement. A messy, confused whole… The lice don’t give it any importance: they have just landed at Disneyland. Four big theme parks connected by bridges, slides, beautiful winter toques to do that tricky… A kind ofDouble occupation, ultimately. But the production had camera problems and didn’t see it coming.
A male louse has two pairs of testicles. He can mate eighteen females without stopping. The female lays four to ten eggs a day for three to four weeks. I don’t underestimate your mathematical abilities, I just need to say it: it can make two hundred eggs. TWO HUNDRED. Worse, we’re just talking about a head.
He’s the ex of my boyfriend who understood what was happening. She texted at midnight. “The girls have rashes on the back of their necks. Not me, but suddenly my head itches and I’m sure I have some. Yes, these crisses, they play in the head, in both senses of the term. Think about the end of the movie Primal Fear. Devil-possessed superheroes.
And I answer (in denial): “They must be scratching because of a leftover shampoo not rinsed well. They also put too much foam in the bath, it dries out the skin! But no: to feed, lice proceed by biting, between four and eight per day. This is when they inject their saliva, causing the scalp to react…and then itching.
Who says blended families says six adult heads to check and watch closely. Aweille the exes, the new boyfriends-blondes of the exes, no risk to take. Because you may have removed all the lice… If there is one nit left, just one, the unwanted visit will show up in a couple of days.
Slow as in slow pass the metal comb. Quilt by quilt, in every direction. Enough to make you want to go and give them a shock treatment in a Scandinavian spa (I’ll throw you into the hottest bath without notice) or go to the sea to drown your worries… Well no, estie! These parasites will remain well attached to their heads, because, equipped with an oxygen reserve of eighteen hours, they close their respiratory orifices once under water.
To the little crisses the big means. After crying, I rolled up my sleeves and made it my mission: to make sure nothing goes back anywhere. For that, you need discipline and the weapons of hell. Maya Exterminator.
To tell you how much the most beautiful birthday present of my 40th birthday was, a few hours before this one, to have me confirm that the four have nothing left! A saga that lasted only a week. And that I didn’t catch any, despite my mane, is a miracle. I even saw it as a good sign: there’s no one who’s going to get me during my quarantine, I’m very well equipped to stop all forms of vermin. My friend Julie to exclaim: “You see, happiness is in small things, but oh so satisfying! Good 40, it’s beautiful, quarantine. »
So the next day I started a whole new week, cheerfully. I opened the door to the daycare center to drop my son in, and what if it was posted on the bulletin board, like the poster for the ninth installment of a late-stage film? “Watch out, LICE RESURRECTION! »