Sophie Bienvenu had been working for a year and a half on writing a new novel – a story featuring black characters who are victims of colonial hegemony in the Caribbean islands – when she realized that it was not hers. to tell this story. “There were much stronger voices, much better placed than me to testify to this heritage and this experience. »
However, after having given so much time to her project, the writer felt confused to say the least. “I didn’t really know which way to turn to find inspiration. My editor encouraged me to sit down and write the first thing that came to mind. I started without really knowing where I was going, doing automatic writing. Then, a story came to me; a story in which I recognized many traits of my own relationship with my father. »
I was a hero features Yvan, a notorious alcoholic, who learns that he has an incurable disease. As death approaches, the balance sheet is not very good. Without news of his daughter Gabrielle for 20 years, the sexagenarian has only music, a roommate he disdains and a cat without a tail or a name, almost as battered as him, to cling to life.
What if he changed? Will the last few miles be enough to mend the broken pots, cure him of his addiction, obtain forgiveness from his family and put his life back on track? Based on Yvan’s decision – whether or not to reconnect with his daughter – Sophie Bienvenu imagines the parallel destinies of a man faced with the consequences of his actions; two possible destinies which, in each chapter, follow one another, echo each other and probe in depth the limits and the promises of forgiveness.
“In imagining the worst and the best situation that could have happened between my father and me, I wanted to ask the question: can everything be forgiven? If yes, how ? It is a reflection that I did not really have the choice to initiate in my personal journey, because those around me did not always understand that I forgive my father. There is no universal answer, but for the character of Gabrielle, forgiveness begins with herself, for herself. In this case, it happens even before the desire for change and the recognition of his wrongs by Yvan. »
An asshole with nuances
In this very personal novel, the author of And at worst we’ll get married (The Wick, 2011) and Look for Sam (Horse of August, 2014) reconnects with what she masters best: the characters abused by life, often plagued by cowardice, hypocrisy, confinement. “I’m one of those authors who always write the same book,” she laughs. I’m attracted to people who aren’t friendly at first sight. In life, I always try to discover what hides behind appearances. It’s a way of deconstructing my prejudices. We are sorely lacking in nuance at the moment, collectively, and that worries me a little. »
I am one of those authors who always write the same book. I’m attracted to people who aren’t friendly at first sight.
Without justifying Yvan’s reprehensible behavior – “he’s really an asshole” -, the novelist nevertheless tries to identify certain mechanisms, constructions and social expectations that can lead a privileged white man who has everything for him to “fuck his life in the air” and hurt all his family in the process.
“I’ve had a lot of conversations about this with my dad since we’ve been talking again. We tend to see 60-year-old white men as the enemy to be beaten. They certainly have their faults. However, they too pay the price for gender stereotypes. »
The writer therefore imagined a character who did not meet the standards of masculinity, who was not born to be the predator or the provider. “The expectations that weigh on him may explain why he has difficulty asking for help. He also feels uncomfortable with being in society, and alcohol becomes a crutch to perform as he should. In short, it’s still shit, but with nuances. »
Invested author
To succeed in slipping into the skin of her character, a great music lover, the novelist created a reading list – included at the end of the novel – gathering the pieces of music that would have accompanied her recovery or her descent into hell. There are, among others, The volume of the wind of Karkwa, outside november roommates, UseSomebody from Kings of Leon, Pictura de ipse: direct music by Hubert Lenoir and All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix. Great classics, which Sophie listened to with her father, paired with more contemporary pieces. “Someone who loves music like Yvan would undoubtedly encourage up-and-coming artists with passion. »
Sophie Bienvenu always puts a lot of herself into her novels — but never with as much awareness and vulnerability as this time around. “Writing and promoting novels is always very therapeutic for me. With this one, I fix several things related to my childhood. The writing was very personal, but then, after a long and arduous editing work, it really became a novel, a separate object like the others. Then, I’m not too afraid that my father will read it. He doesn’t make drunken promises anymore, because he hasn’t drunk for 16 years, but even today, when he promises to read my books, he never does,” she says with a point of irony.