Stealth — the withdrawal of the condom without the partner’s knowledge during sexual intercourse — is a more widespread phenomenon than one might think, shows a new study which confirms that the practice is common in Quebec. The Supreme Court has clarified the notion of consent surrounding the stealthingwhich is considered a sexual assault, but education remains to be done to detrimentalize the gesture, believe several speakers, because it can have significant consequences on the people who experience it.
A few years ago, Elsa* met a man on a dating site. After several platonic dates, she felt confident enough to have sex. “He had difficulty maintaining his erection. After four or five minutes, suddenly he had one. When he finished [la relation sexuelle], I said to him: “My God, where is the condom?” she tells the To have to. He replied: ‘I took it off earlier, otherwise I wouldn’t have had an erection,’” recalls Elsa, who wishes to conceal her identity.
She remained lying on the bed for an hour, “eyes to the sky”. The man fell asleep, and she left. “I never saw him again,” she says. I found it horrible, I felt violated. I didn’t see anyone after that, I locked myself in a bubble. It really had a catastrophic effect. »
The phenomenon of stealth is poorly documented in Canada, but it is present, mentions in To have to Sylvie Lévesque, professor in the Department of Sexology at the University of Quebec in Montreal (UQAM). “It’s extremely high, it’s quite an alarming phenomenon,” says the researcher, who has studied the subject in recent years.
In a scientific article on reproductive coercion, which has been accepted and has not yet been published, she and her colleagues reveal that 23.7% of the people questioned reported to them that they had experienced non-consensual withdrawal of the condom. “I think this gesture is trivialized: for some people, it’s not important, it doesn’t matter to do it,” she says. The gesture is however not without impacts. “When someone experiences this, there is a risk of pregnancy, a risk of STBBIs [infection transmissible sexuellement et par le sang] and the feeling of having been deceived”, she insists.
The data collected by the authors of the study are not population-based, she adds. The 427 people who responded to their questionnaire were recruited in Quebec and Ontario through clinics, social networks or community organizations.
The recent decision of the Supreme Court could help lift the veil on the seriousness of the gesture, she thinks. “In the population, we need to stop and think about that, to shake ourselves up in relation to these behaviors,” she says.
In her 187-page decision handed down on July 29 with a majority of five out of nine Supreme Court justices, Justice Sheilah L. Martin confirms that this form of sexual assault is increasingly common. “Unfortunately, the refusal or withdrawal of the condom, even if its use has been requested and demanded, is not uncommon. In recent years, the phenomenon has become the subject of social science research and increased recognition within society,” writes the magistrate.
The Supreme Court’s decision reflects an approach that will be more favorable to complainants, thinks lawyer Suzanne Zaccour. ” The stealthing has always been sexual assault. Until this decision, it was necessary to demonstrate that the consent had been vitiated not only to prove the dishonesty of the partner, but also to demonstrate that you were exposed to risks of injury, including pregnancy and communicable diseases, “explains the lawyer in charge of feminist legal reform for the national association Women and the Law.
“The question the Supreme Court had to answer was, does the removal of the condom constitute a breach of consent or not? And the majority said yes, so we don’t have to wonder if the partner was dishonest in removing the condom, he broke the consent, so it’s sexual assault, period, ”she adds.
However, not everyone who suffers it sees it as a criminal act, even if it can arouse anger. “The people we spoke with have a bit of everything,” says Sylvie Lévesque. There’s a gray area around that. »
Real impacts
The consequences can be very real. At Quorum, a clinic located near the Village in Montreal and specializing in sexual health and STBBIs, patients have reported having suffered stealthing. The screening process can be long, stressful and anxiety-provoking, and some have contracted an infection.
“These are issues that are real in our practice,” said Dr.r Andrew Bui-Nguyen, family physician at the clinic. Patients request post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), which prevents HIV transmission after potential exposure within a maximum of 72 hours. Other tests to detect STBBIs are also conducted by the band. “We see them again a month after their 28-day medication, and then at three months,” he says.
Some test results can be false negative within 70 hours of having sex, and take a few weeks to come back positive. “You have to repeat them over time to make sure the reliability increases,” he says, and it’s possible that an STBBI will be detected later in a control test.
“It remains a period of stress, uncertainty and concern for the person. It’s a sign that you need to take that into consideration when talking about consent,” he said, adding that the issue needs to be discussed openly. “As a professional, when I see someone who has suffered stealthing, I always take it seriously because it can be a gateway to an infection or an unwanted pregnancy. »
The duty has contacted several screening and abortion clinics in the past few days. The phenomenon is known, but very little discussed. Some reported not having had a conversation to this effect with their patients. Other clinics did not want to talk about it or did not respond to our requests for interviews.
Education work to do
People have bad memories of their interactions on this subject with health professionals, who are sometimes not very aware of these issues.
This is the case of Elsa. Apart from her children, she only confided in one person about her attack: her doctor. But she was far from expecting the reaction of the latter during her consultation ten days later to take screening tests.
“She asked me if I had a new partner. I told him that he took the condom off after a few minutes without my consent. I then started crying and told him that I felt like I had been raped. She moved around the room and she patted me on the shoulder saying, “No, no… We’re just going to make sure you haven’t caught anything, but it’s not that bad. The important thing is that you know he doesn’t respect you and you won’t see him again,’” recalls Elsa, still shaken by her doctor’s reaction.
“On several occasions, the people we interviewed tried to talk about it, but there was not much openness,” confirms Sylvie Lévesque. I’m not saying it’s the fault of the nursing staff, but it’s more misunderstood. The expert led the writing of a guide for health professionals and stakeholders to raise awareness of reproductive coercion, which includes stealthing. “More and more, it will be integrated into practices,” she hopes.
“If a professional opens the question and is interested in that, it opens the space to discuss it, she believes. He can then link that to other services. It can be reassuring and caring, and it can help people who feel shame or guilt. »
*Fictional name. The speaker chose to testify on condition of anonymity to prevent her attack from being known to those around her.