Recent scandals related to degrading initiations and gang rapes in the hockey world, revealed in the media in recent months, have shaken the parents of young elite hockey players and sparked discussions within families.
Friday evening, Terrebonne arena. Dozens of parents take their places in the stands, coffee or beer in hand, ready to shiver under their blankets for more than an hour to encourage their boys on the ice.
The parents greet each other and exchange news about their respective children. The players arrive on the ice for a warm-up. The noise is deafening, as dozens of pucks slam into the tape and the speakers spit out a classic: The Final Countdown. Rallying cry, concert of beatings on the tape, and it’s time for the match.
The players competing today are the best in the 14-15 age group. They play on AAA Elite teams. At this level, all hopes are allowed.
“My boy only lives for hockey,” says Kristel Murray. He trains, watches what he eats, watches every game, analyzes stats, and spends all his free time pitching in the garage. He is aware that not everyone can make it to the national league, but he wants to climb as high as possible. »
A little further on, Karine Bourassa takes advantage of the intermission to grab a quick lunch. “At this level, it’s a way of life,” she sums up. His son plans to go into American college hockey, like his big brother and his father. A parallel course that obtains the favor of his mother. “For me, education is a priority. At the major junior level, it’s harder to study because of the exchanges and the trips. But at university, it’s better framed in terms of studies. »
New generation
The scandals of recent months – and more particularly that of the violent and humiliating initiations experienced by young junior players in Canada brought before the courts – have found an echo among these ” hockey mom “.
“I find it appalling! protests Karine. I didn’t even think it was possible, things like that, today. It’s scary. »
Karine is not worried about her boys, who all gravitate to this universe. “They would have told me,” she says straight away. And the parents, we’re all friends, we talk to each other, it’s known. But she still questioned her boys about whether they had experienced or witnessed any inappropriate behavior or bullying. She also took the opportunity to raise awareness among them. “When I told them what had been reported in the newspapers, they could hardly believe it. »
Same story at Kristel. “I was outraged when I read that. I’ve never heard of any stories like this in all these years, but I told my guy about it. »
Although some elements happened only a few years ago, Kristel believes that the younger generation will no longer tolerate such gestures.
“In five years, there has been a lot of development on this subject. With the #MeToo movement in particular, young people are more aware, they are more aware of what is not acceptable and talk about it more. I trust in [mes garçons] ; if they experience something, they will tell me about it. But of course I ask more questions. »
Karine and Kristel trust the staff of their team. They also believe that the fact that their children have been following each other all this time is a protective factor.
On the floor below, the players come out of the locker room dressed in full, as in the professionals. In the presence of Duty, Christopher Medrano apostrophes his son: “You didn’t have that, eh, initiations? ” he asks. “No,” replies his son, shrugging his shoulders before walking away.
“Hockey Culture”
Sunday afternoon, in Boisbriand. Another arena, two other teams. With one notable difference: the bleachers are heated. This time, the young people are a little older, they are 16 or 17 years old, and they too play in a AAA team, with the desire to progress as far as possible. “I spend my life in arenas,” summarizes Normand Demers, who himself evolved in this environment when he was younger. At the time, he even went to Los Angeles Kings training camp with Wayne Gretzky, he says proudly.
“In all these years, I have never experienced this,” he said, referring to the gestures reported in the media recently. According to him, initiations usually consisted of having your head or mustache shaved.
“The thing that bothers me is that we associate these gestures with a ‘culture’ of hockey,” he explains. The culture of hockey is not raping girls and doing initiations like that. The culture of hockey, in my opinion, is discipline, work, organization and structure. It’s successes and failures, and learning to live through it. »
He too is not worried about his own son, who wants to reach the highest level. He feels that some education should be done at home. “We discuss it freely and we talk about it. I want him to be aware, ”he explains.
But beyond the scandals, it is the structures of hockey that need to be renewed, he explains. “What I find distressing is the abuse of power by officials. And that, there is still. »
Although he sees the need to have volunteer parents on the teams, he feels that they do not always have the training, independence or judgment necessary to deal with the selection and supervision of players. “Hockey Quebec should put on its pants and hire professionals to take care of the elite levels, he summarizes. The problem starts from there. »
“Toxic Environment”
His reflection joins that of another parent of a high-level player contacted by The duty and who requested anonymity for fear of harming his son’s advancement. “We are surprised at the dramatic side of what has been reported, but we tell ourselves that it is the general atmosphere of minor hockey that leads to this. »
He speaks of a “toxic environment”, a “lack of transparency”, especially in the selections which seem to be made “randomly” by volunteer parents who have no specific training in pedagogy. He speaks of the “glorification” of young people who evolve in the highest levels and of a “culture of silence”, which increases with caliber.
“When we see things that don’t work, we shut up, because we don’t want to block the possibilities for our child,” he sighs.
Despite the scandals and problems that tarnish the image of their sport, all the parents encountered by The duty are unanimous: hockey is more than that. “Hockey is a school of life,” summarizes Normand Demers. For me, it remains the most beautiful sport in the world. »