Posted at 12:00 p.m.
“My daughter doesn’t want to do anything on spring break,” says Annie Girard, a 36-year-old Laval resident. She wants to stay home, slumped on the couch with a blanket, glued to the dog. »
Alice, 6 years old, shuns the activities planned and organized by her mother. This one takes time off at spring break… even if she has a bittersweet memory of the Christmas holidays. “I think she feels overloaded by school in times of a pandemic, says this preschool teacher. When I suggest going skating, snowshoeing or sliding, nothing tempts him. She much prefers to stay at home, in her comfort. »
Same story with Céline Moïse, mother of a 13-year-old boy and a 12-year-old girl. “They tell me: ‘We want to rest, we’re tired,’ says this 42-year-old Quebec City resident. I managed to negotiate a basketball camp every morning for my son, but my daughter doesn’t want to do anything. »
According to her, Céline “abdicates” and organizes a few activities, such as walks and hikes, during the break. She tries all the same to rally her teenagers to a few small activities. “I watch TV series with my daughter and we all play a board game together,” she says, a hint of dissatisfaction in her voice.
Collective weariness
According to Nancy Doyon, specialized educator and coach family for 30 years, this year there is a collective weariness linked to the pandemic. “We have been in a pandemic for almost two years, she underlines, we are over-adapting. Children, like teenagers and adults, don’t really want to move, they lack energy, oumpf! »
She recalls that the break was set up so that the children could recharge their batteries for the last blitz before the end of the school year. Planning too many activities and outings does no one a favour, she believes. “The children will not rest, they risk falling into confrontation mode and, in addition, we find ourselves not listening to their needs, not respecting them. »
Psychologist Amélie Seidah believes that having an open and frank discussion about the needs and expectations of children in the face of spring break is essential. “It’s a good exercise in introspection, she says, it forces you to ask yourself what you need, here now, and therefore, to know yourself. »
Extremely organized at school and bombarded with health instructions that have changed over the months, some children perceive this moment of break as an opportunity to be left on their own, to have free time, to go around in circles – while others will want to take the opportunity to move, be outside or socialize.
It’s all a matter of taste… and temperament. However, if the parent organizes the leave without taking it into account, it is quite possible that the “dream” week will become a disaster.
Some children like it, take it easier, they are more homely. It may be that the parents flourish in the outdoors… and the child, it is through DIY.
Nancy Doyon, specialized educator and coach family
find the balance
To avoid parent-child conflicts, or a regular sulking session in the middle of an activity, the two experts suggest betting on balance. “We don’t have to do everything as a family, notes Mme Seidah. We can do things on our own, meet up later and that’s perfectly fine! I always advocate flexibility. »
Mme Doyon agrees: “It’s good to find a balance between respecting the child’s needs and those of the parent,” she says. For example, if our child doesn’t feel like skiing with us, that’s OK, but he won’t spend the day on the tablet either. We will try to unite his need for tranquility and solitude with our need to go outside, to play sports. It’s a conversation and a negotiation that we can have. »
As for the sacrosanct image of the perfect break, such as that often displayed on social networks, Amélie Seidah does not believe in it – and warns parents who could be lulled into this illusion.
“Beware of those who want to take charge of everything, who put a lot of responsibility on their shoulders and try to have their children touch everything during this week, she believes. The greatest gift you can give your family and yourself is having the freedom to choose what works for you, in your home. »