I told my girlfriend.
“Look closely, two days after the eclipse, we will learn that people have sore eyes because they watched the eclipse without glasses.”
What did we read yesterday in The newspaper?
People have sore eyes because they watched the eclipse without glasses.
It was written in the sky!
HAVEN’T WE TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH?
We’ve been talking about the eclipse for two months.
The eclipse, the eclipse, the eclipse.
Twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week.
A trucker has a sister-in-law who has a cousin whose aunt once saw an eclipse?
Paf, we interviewed the truck driver so he could tell us about it!
We interviewed eclipse chasers, eclipse specialists, eclipse experts, astronomers, scientists, ophthalmologists, opticians, oculists, optometrists, doctors, eyeglass makers, contact lens manufacturers , blind people, people who have crooked eyes, eyes that stick out of their heads, both eyes in the same hole, one eye that cracks in the other, cyclops, you name them!
And all these people repeated the same thing in all the newspapers and on all the radio and TV stations, from Mazatlan in Mexico to North Rustico in Prince Edward Island: ABOVE ALL, DON’T WATCH THE ECLIPSE WITHOUT GLASSES!
Now, guess what?
People watched the eclipse without glasses.
If I were an expert in public policy, I would ask scientists to study the brains of these people.
I’m sure it would advance science.
Because that would answer an existential and philosophical question that humanity has been asking since the invention of fire.
WHY IS SOMEONE ALWAYS PUTTING THEIR HAND IN THE FIRE?
What is going on in the heads of these individuals?
They say to themselves: the fire burns others but not me?
Yes, the eclipse can cause damage to the eyes if looked directly at it without protection, but it will not pose a danger to me, because I have super eyes, bionic eyes, electronic eyes, cybernetic eyes created in laboratory by the Eloïm?
A GOOD CIGARETTE!
Every year, billions of dollars are spent telling people not to smoke.
We publish photos of ex-smokers who have holes in their throats the size of the third link tunnel on cigarette packets. Ex-smokers whose tongue is so covered in pustules that it looks like Notre-Dame Street in spring.
We are considering writing on each cigarette YOU ARE CONSUMING A PRODUCT THAT WILL KILL YOU!
Result: according to the National Institute of Public Health of Quebec, 1,275,600 people smoke in Quebec.
What do you want to do with people like that?
After that, we wonder why the government is so motherly towards us. Why he treats us like children. Why do microwave oven manufacturers write in their instructions that you should not stick your head in their oven.
BECAUSE PEOPLE DO IT!