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“No, it’s not normal that at 25, we have suicidal thoughts”, Elena, ex-medical intern
Former medical intern, Elena Fournier reoriented herself after burnout. She launched a support program to help interns.
(Aude Lambert)
Former medical intern, Elena Fournier decided to reorient herself after burnout. She launched her support program to help interns who experience this discomfort that is still taboo in the profession.
“Should I quit medicine?” Elena Fournier turned this question over a thousand times in her head before making her decision two years ago. The journey of this 25-year-old from Nîmes, a former intern in general medicine, took a completely different turn following a burn-out.
In 2016, the young woman began her medical studies. Like all medical students, she first did her first years of clerkship. She experienced the first signs of intense stress during her 6e year of studies.“I was physically and mentally exhausted, I had this feeling of suffocation.” At that moment, Elena didn’t dare talk about her discomfort around her.
“I couldn’t open a book anymore, I cried all day.”
Elena Fournier, former medical internat franceinfo
Then comes his first year of internship, with periods of internship. Between revisions, internships, shifts, the thesis to prepare, the pressure goes up a notch.
During an internship at the hospital in the emergency room, her discomfort takes on another dimension; she breaks down one day on call. “I found myself in a cubicle examining a patient and I started to cry. She was an elderly person, she didn’t see that I was crying at all. I didn’t realize that it wasn’t “It’s not OK to be in this state and it’s impossible for me to say ‘It’s not okay, I can’t do it anymore!’, because otherwise the boss will be all alone.” The student is especially panicked at the idea of making a mistake in her diagnosis: “I just tell myself that I have no choice.”
Lifting the veil on this taboo
For several months, Elena remained silent. The problem seems taboo around her, but the student also feels this discomfort among her peers.“I was ashamed that it wasn’t working out, and I didn’t want to talk about it because I felt like it wasn’t working out for a lot of people.”
In 2021, a survey on the mental health of future doctors was carried out by the autonomous national inter-union representative of general medicine interns (ISNAR-IMG), the national inter-union of interns (ISNI) and the National Association of Students in Medicine of France (Anemf) with more than 11,000 interns. 67% of students responded that they had felt symptoms of burnout and 19% mentioned suicidal thoughts.
“I was ashamed to speak because my co-interns weren’t the best either.”
Elena, former medical internat franceinfo
Elena felt guilty for feeling bad, “Everyone around me felt a little bad. They were feeling bad too, so to say ‘things aren’t going well’ was to give them my working time, it would have been worse for them.” Looking back, the student realizes that her discomfort was multifactorial. She points out the fear of not being up to the task as a doctor, and “loss of meaning”. “I didn’t understand how the hospital worked. And then with the lack of time, the lack of resources, we ended up mistreating the patients, it became unbearable for me. That’s why I decided to Stop.”
When Elena decides to discuss her professional burnout with her superiors, the young woman receives sympathetic attention but answers that are out of step with her feelings: “Their first reaction was to say: ‘I too, I doubted. I too, I questioned being a doctor. You’re going to stop, rest and you’ll be fine.’ For me, at that moment, it’s impossible to hear that because I don’t want to set foot in the hospital again.”
A supportive community
A period of doubts and the testing of different therapies will follow. “I tried everything: sophrology, anxiolytics, antidepressants.” She also turned to a psychologist and then a psychiatrist. But it’s when she ends up talking to two former interns who have been converted that Elena clicks: she wants to help her peers.
She then launched a community on Facebook, which quickly gained members: Colibri Libre, Mutual Aid for Mental Health for medical interns and externs. Today, 2,000 interns are registered there. Elena realizes that this community is growing. She then set up a monitoring program to support and propose the solutions that she would have liked to find at the time: a free part with the community and free videos and content, and paid support with daily individual monitoring to pass the difficult course and discussion groups between interns.
The important thing for her is to implement new habits to escape this harmful spiral. Prioritize professional and personal balance, take breaks… “The question, ultimately, is not so much ‘Should I stop medicine?’ It’s more like, ‘How do I manage to be fulfilled in life?'”
If Elena admits to encountering new challenges in her career as an entrepreneur, she absolutely does not regret her choice to quit, nor her long studies which make sense today. Another way to help others. And to conclude: “I know why I get up in the morning!”