“Dying is nothing”, sang the great Brel. The real questions then arise: burial or cremation? Grave in the garden or ashes in the sea? What to take to his grave? His smartphone or a bottle of cognac? On the occasion of All Saints’ Day, Tuesday November 1, franceinfo answers all questions to rest in peace in eternity.
1I have nothing planned for my funeral, how is it going?
AIE Aie Aie ! It is up to your loved ones to decide, or to confront each other in front of your remains. Contacted by franceinfo, Rémi Matalon, director of a funeral agency in Marseille, says he saw, “just yesterday, a family is torn on the subject”. The wife favored burial, the children favored cremation. In these cases, it is up to the district court, seized urgently, to decide.
If there is disagreement, indeed, the final decision rests with Justice. “The court rules within 24 hours”, specifies the Service-public site. And “it is possible to appeal the court’s decision within 24 hours, before the first president of the court of appeal. The latter rules immediately.” But sIf you want to simplify the life of your loved ones, sign a funeral contract or simply let your family know your last wishes.
2Can I take my smartphone to my grave?
Clothing, photos, alliance… Most personal items are allowed. With a few reservations: avoid overpriced jewelry, even cash. Possible sources of family discord, they will not be easy to recover if there is a quarrel. The rest matches the personality of the deceased. “In Marseille, says Rémi Matalon, it’s quite common for people who die of cirrhosis to be buried with a bottle of pastis. Or others with a pack of cigarettess, although they died of lung cancer.” Another local speciality: the double blue and white quilting… in the colors of OM.
What is prohibited? Dangerous, harmful, or potentially explosive objects. Pacemakers and battery-operated prostheses must be removed in the event of cremation, but also, increasingly, in the event of burial to avoid “to end up with very polluting lithium spread in the middle of nature”according to the specialized site Funeral-info.
If you like, you can therefore take a great vintage, the soft toy from your childhood or your favorite book to your final resting place. In the event of a dispute, the court decides.
3Can you write whatever you want on your tombstone?
Not quite, accurate Our time. You need the authorization of the mayor who can refuse “if he considers that the content is likely to disturb public order. When a foreign language is used, a French translation must be attached to the authorization request”.
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Also beware of your loved ones: Rémi Matalon remembers a loving daughter who had engraved on the tomb of the author of his days “To my father”. Before wanting to add, some time later: “Nevertheless.” In the meantime, she had learned that her parent had recognized another child, of which she was unaware.
4Who pays, by the way?
Who pays for the burial if the deceased has not signed a contract? “Funeral expenses are deducted from the property of the estate, unless the value of the property is insufficient”specifies Service-public. It is then descendants or parents to pay. For those most in need, funeral expenses are paid by the commune of death.
Pay attention to the prices. Despite low cost offers or the creation of municipal authorities, as in Paris, the French are increasingly putting their hands in the wallet to bury their loved ones, according to UFC-Que Choisir. The consumer association noted considerable variations in 2019 from one funeral home to another, of €1,269 at 7,515 euros for a burial – outside the vault and concession. According to the UFC, “the price of certain standardized services can vary from simple to sometimes more than tenfold“.
5Can you make a coffin yourself?
This is a gripping scene from Thomas Cailley’s film, The fighters. A carpenter dies and his sons, exasperated by the poor quality of the wood offered by the coffin, decide to make one that does honor to their father. “Nothing Stops You”confirms to franceinfo Jean Ruellan, marketing director of OGF, one of the leaders of funeral directors in France. “You just have to meet the standards.” Especially the 22 mm thickness required. And to remember a sailor who wanted to be buried between four teak planks, of which the decks of boats are made.
6Can I be buried where I want?
Can one be buried in Lourmarin (Vaucluse) because one loves Camus, at Père-Lachaise in Paris because a fan of Jim Morrison or in the marine cemetery of Sète (Hérault) to rest forever near the Mediterranean? The answer is no: we can be buried “only in the city where you have your main residence, in the city where you have a secondary residence, or in the city where there is already a family grave, detailed Le Monde (article reserved for subscribers). The municipalities must also bury the deceased on their soil, regardless of their domicile.
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What if you want to be buried in your garden? The rules are precise. “It is possible to be buried on private property, provided it is outside an urban area and more than 35 m from other dwellings. A hydrogeological survey is required beforehand, as well as the authorization of the prefect of the department. If the family line is already there, the answer will generally be favourable”Explain The world.
7And I can scatter my ashes anywhere?
Variation of the previous question, cremation version. Because incineration is an increasingly widespread option, according to Jean Ruellan. “Currently, there are a third of cremations, but that will increase. In our funeral contracts, in 2014, more than half of the contracting parties request a cremation. In 2020, I think we will have passed the 40% mark. “
What can be done with the ashes? No way, as Slate noted in 2010, to disperse them anywhere. In a cemetery, the urn can be buried in a tomb, deposited in a colombarium or sealed on a funerary monument.
As for the ashes, they can be scattered in the cemetery in a dedicated space, or in the middle of nature, even in the open sea. “It happens a lot”according to Jean Ruellan, to the point that companies even offer “soluble urns”. No question, however, of throwing them in a public space. Nor to keep them: “The law of December 19, 2008 no longer authorizes the long-term storage of a ballot box in the home of an individual, because there have been many conflicts within families.explains the magazine Lyon Capital. With a downside: “On the one hand, the law is not retroactive, families who kept the ashes before 2008 are not obliged to return them. On the other hand, the law is not very clear, because it is possible to keep the ballot box at home temporarily while waiting to choose its destination.
8Ecological cremation, does it exist?
Are funerals that respect the environment, a trend, a fantasy or a reality? Jean Ruellan minimizes and sees it more as a media phenomenon than an effective demand. But the newspaper 20 minutes considered the issue, particularly during cremations. And he found that only the crematoria “the most recent are designed to minimize their ecological footprint”. The free emphasizes moreover that that of Champigny-sur-Marne (Val-de-Marne) is “a model of its kind”.
The article of 20 minutes also note a discrepancy with our neighbours: “If elsewhere in Europe crematoriums are a source of energy that can supply public networks or heat swimming pools and schools, France is still cautious about the use of these calories from beyond the grave.”
9Being buried on the internet, is it possible?
The “virtual cemeteries” or sites dedicated to the “memory of the deceased” now have a few years of existence. Since 2014, in Switzerland, the grave of the deceased can serve as a support for the online memorial, exposed The morning. From this grave, “photos and videos of him are available on your smartphone. Once scanned with a smartphone, the QR code in question provides access not only to a biography of the deceased but also to photos and videos of him.
And on social networks? Facebook offers relatives of a deceased person to transform their account into a memorial page, explains the Be Geek site. It also offers the possibility, by sending a form, to close the account of a deceased person. Same on the side of Twitterwhich also allows to remove photographs and videos of the dead if families request them.