“How would you like to be kissed?” What part of your body needs more attention? »
Posted yesterday at 11:00 a.m.
When I approach the sign, two men are already observing it. I stop in my turn to read the two questions listed there. I would hang a beak on the forehead and a massage on the shoulders, which I tell myself as I enter the store. (I am very tired.)
Oui is a sexual health store that opened on Saint-Laurent Boulevard in Montreal in mid-September. It obviously piqued my curiosity… Is it an erotic shop? A CLSC? An in-between?
Suzanne Dufresne, owner of the place, agreed to answer my questions — not without fear.
“Are you the type to think I’m going to pervert the neighborhood?”
– Uh no. »
The 26-year-old is a doula apprentice and, recently, an entrepreneur.
Fascinated by women’s health (I guess you have to be to become a birth companion) and personally affected by sexual health issues, she dreamed of a place where everyone could find resources on ‘privacy.
For me, good sexual health includes pleasure, but also having information about everything related to the hormonal cycle, intimate relationships, the influence it can have on mental health, etc.
Suzanne Dufresne
“I see it holistically. Yes, here there are climax games, condoms, lubricants and vibrators. But I couldn’t sell that without also offering tools that help people get to know each other more completely. »
Among the educational products that I see in stores, books on theories of attachment, physical pleasure, sex education for adolescents, sexuality among seniors and female masturbation.
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PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, THE PRESS
Products offered at the new store Yes
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PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, THE PRESS
Products offered at the new boutique Yes
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PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, THE PRESS
Products offered at the new store Yes
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I also notice different table games that promote communication, both between partners and between friends. The cards ” Between you ” propose for example the following questions: who are the members of your chosen family? What trait would you like to have inherited from your parents? How do you take care of yourself?
I also spot period panties made in Quebec, love letter notebooks, burlesque accessories and a nice variety of sex toys for any gender identity… Don’t look for anything that looks like a penis, though.
While talking with friends, Suzanne Dufresne came to the conclusion that for many people, a big purple phallus does not evoke anything particularly exciting. Its products represent a new wave of more contemporary and inclusive toys.
She continues by explaining to me that the second floor of the store will soon be devoted to events. She plans to hold evenings of feminist humor and queer from October. It will also host workshops and conferences offered by sexologists, social workers and various actors of intimacy.
Suzanne Dufresne has been working on her project since May 2021. It was difficult to finance, she admits to me. According to the young woman, many organizations are timid when it comes to supporting a sensual boutique that promotes sexual health.
PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, THE PRESS
Suzanne Dufresne dreamed of a place where everyone could find resources on intimacy.
She supported her argument with statistics from the World Health Organization (WHO) and pleaded the importance of such places, while women lose rights related to their sexuality in the United States as elsewhere in the world. She also did market research to define what customers might need today. I mean: you can find sex toys at Sephora and Best Buy, it’s easier than ever!
To answer this question, Suzanne Dufresne notably conducted interviews on the dating application Hinge. On her profile, she asked people to comment on: 1) dating culture; 2) the orgasmic gap between men and women in heterosexual couples.
(Small reminder: a study published in 2017 in the scientific journal Archives of Sexual Behavior states that 65% of women always reach orgasm during sex, while 95% of men do.)
About fifty people engaged in discussion with Suzanne, mostly men over 30 years old. They said they were disappointed or dissatisfied with the dating apps that increasingly dictate their intimate fate. A few men asked her what she meant by “orgasmic gap”; others argued that they would do better if women spoke more; and some praised the mutual pleasure. Many testified to a thirst for discovery.
Suzanne has therefore decided to encourage her customers to be curious.
I want to invite people to ask questions. There are some on the sign in front of the shop, there are some in the games we sell. I would like them to be able to get out of the models that have been imposed on them, if they want to.
Suzanne Dufresne
And what question changed his private life?
Susan thinks.
“With dating applications, we often say that you shouldn’t show your attachment too quickly, that you have to be desired and see several people at the same time, as if it were a game… But why? The question I ask myself now is: would I do that to my friend? Would I leave her unanswered for three days? Would I ghost her ? No. So I decided to treat the people I associate with the same respect I have for my friends. »
Suzanne’s close guard is very present in her entrepreneurial project, moreover. She helped her think about her mission, put up shelves, even define the name of the store.
“So why is it called Yes?”
– Because it is both a cry of pleasure and a manifestation of consent. It reflects the importance of listening to each other and communicating… My values, basically. »