Why the Cosmo ?
Madeleine Frank Reeves is deputy editor of Cosmopolitan, At New York. She was also responsible for the pages Sex, Love & Relationshipsand, at the age of 32, is also right in the target group of this so-called generation “ No Sex “. We contacted her at her New York offices, especially since her magazine published a nice bomb on the subject, a well-sent reply with the unequivocal title: “The Millenial Sex Recession is Bulls*t” (free translation : the millennial sexual recession is bullshit).
Back to the facts
First, a quick reminder. It was five years ago ; in quick succession, several media, notably the New York TimesTHE Guardianand finally The Atlantic, have revealed a series of seemingly worrying figures about a generation’s sexual inactivity. Basically, millennials, often called Y, this famous group born with a remote control in their hands, would be the least active, sexually speaking, compared to all previous generations at the same age. A surprising conclusion to say the least, when we know that we are talking here about the famous Tinder generation, not exactly synonymous with chastity, it should be remembered. Whose fault is it ? Stress, porn, apps, everything was mentioned.
How “less active”?
“Are millennials less active? But how much less active? » Madeleine Frank Reeves, happily married for seven years, asked herself all sorts of questions while reading these headlines, with which she did not really identify (nor did her friends or colleagues, for that matter). Verified, the conclusions reported came in particular from a longitudinal study, called the General Social Survey (GSS), which covers all kinds of questions, ranging from culture to politics. By the way, how many times do you make love per year (we’re obviously paraphrasing to summarize)? It is here that we noted the said decline: from 81.2 times per year, to 78.5 times (between 1989 -1994 and 2010-2014). “We’re talking about a little less than three times! That’s not a giant decline! », points out, amused, our interlocutor.
And what do we mean by “relationship”?
Fundamental question here: “But what counts as sex?” » In a word: what are we talking about, exactly? Is it even defined? Do we limit ourselves exclusively to penetration? How is this relevant? And how did the LGBTQ+ communities feel challenged? “There is a big blind spot here,” argues Madeleine Frank Reeves. For good reason: “On a daily basis, in our work, the readers and experts with whom we interact say it: we must explore what we mean by “sexual activity”,” she says. Sex toys, masturbation, “there are so many different ways to define sexuality”!
And the quality in all this?
To find out, the magazine conducted its own survey, to which a thousand young people (18-34 years old) responded, still five years ago (more recent figures are in the works, but unfortunately not yet public ). No doubt, this generation has explored, the figures speak for themselves: BDSM (20%), anal (35%), rough sex (49%), toys (44%). Even better: “71% of respondents indicated that they were satisfied with the frequency of their activities, but what is even more interesting is that 92% said that quality was more important than quantity! And that’s an interesting fact: it’s not a question of the number of times, people mainly want the good ones! », notes Madeleine Frank Reeves. The survey further indicates that 68% of millennials do not consider themselves to be in a “sexual recession.”
The #metoo effect
It’s impossible to ignore the #metoo movement when we talk about sexuality now. “The movement has brought the notion of consent to the forefront,” our interlocutor also confirms. In an interview given to New York Post in 2019, his colleague Jessica Giles, editor-in-chief of Cosmo and also a worthy millennial representative, went even further: “Women now have the kind of sexuality they want to have, and not the sexuality they feel obligated to have. It’s a matter of taking power [empowerment]. It’s a matter of satisfaction! » We are far from recession…
Verdict?
SO ? Is there cause for concern? “I think that the sexuality of millennials is doing very well,” continues Madeleine Frank Reeves, recalling that her generation grew up with Sex and the City, normalizing discussions as crude as they are naughty between friends at brunch time. “I don’t think comparing frequency statistics is particularly illuminating here. […] On the other hand, I think and I know that the sex lives of millennials are active, nuanced, and interesting, constantly evolving and expanding, she concludes. Generally speaking, I would also say that sexuality takes a big place in their lives. ” It is said !