If all goes as planned, on January 11, Mélanie Lachance will attend an Alexandra Stréliski concert with around thirty of her close friends. Two days later, she died. In our society which obscures finitude, his journey is a true lesson in life and death.
Mélanie Lachance is 26 years old, two young children, a foster home and strange stomach aches when a doctor tells her that she is suffering from ovarian cancer. The treatments are complicated, but in 2009, a complete remission was announced.
“I felt it was going to come back,” Mélanie confided to me. I told myself that I wanted to live until my children came of age. »
Life goes on. Mélanie and her husband at the time took in 11 children over the years, she created her photography business, the little ones grew up, the couple separated, then, in May 2021, the mother guessed that her body and illness reconnect.
Around the same time, she met a guy she had already seen occasionally at work. Except this time, she falls in love. Because even when everything goes wrong, I repeat: life goes on. Mélanie warns her beau François from the outset: “I cannot give you a guarantee of health. For illness, I don’t consult anyone. That’s mine. And if you tell me every day that you’re hoping for a miracle, I’ll kick you out. »
Bargain.
In February 2022, the recurrence is confirmed. Mélanie is offered anti-hormonal treatment to slow the progression of the cancer. To accept it, however, would be to prolong an overwhelming state. “I’m tired,” she admits. It’s been years since I had a day without major pain. Morphine, Dilaudid, there’s nothing that completely relieves me…”
PHOTO FRANÇOIS LEMIEUX, PROVIDED BY MÉLANIE LACHANCE
On a trip to Paris last April
Mélanie is 40 years old, her daughters Elsy and Maya have reached the age of majority. She declines the doctors’ offer and gives herself one year to continue living, but to really live.
She visits Hawaii, Paris and Western Canada. She parachuted, attended the Quebec Summer Festival and Osheaga, then saw dozens of shows. She says that ” [sa] life is like seven Saturdays a week.”
As much as she is exhausted, she finds bursts of energy through these festivities. Because, I insist, Mélanie is in the mood for celebration. And her gang follows her in there. This is how beautiful Sundays are born. Every week, Mélanie and her daughters have dinner with friends. The longer it goes, the bigger the band gets. His children put down roots in other families; for their mother, it is proof that they will be in good hands.
“I can really leave in peace. »
PHOTO FRANÇOIS LEMIEUX, PROVIDED BY MÉLANIE LACHANCE
Mélanie with her daughter Maya, left, and her cousin Jannie Devin, right, in Osheaga last August
What particularly moves me is the way in which Mélanie prepares her exit from the stage.
She is currently filling a backpack for each of her daughters. She slips in meaningful objects that Elsy and Maya will discover when the right time comes.
The eldest has already said that she wanted to find a notebook there in which would be recorded the recipes invented by her mother and the answers to all the questions that she could possibly want to ask her, over the course of a lifetime.
Mélanie works there.
Our relationship developed when she asked me if I would sign a copy of my book. Your absence belongs to me to her daughters, so she can add it to their respective backpacks. As it deals with grief and its impact on our identity, she felt it could give them a helping hand. I was amazed by what this mother did to help her children survive her. In a culture that fears and hides death, she dared to take the bull by the horns and leave tools for those close to her. A lesson in legacy.
For her 42nd birthday in November, Mélanie bought 90 tickets for a show by Fanny Bloom, whose music has long accompanied her through the hardest times. It was not her party, but there party,” says Mélanie. She also gave gifts to her guests. Among them, reusable tissues.
PHOTO PROVIDED BY MÉLANIE LACHANCE
Elsy, one of Mélanie’s daughters, singer Fanny Bloom and Mélanie Lachance in the dressing room of Beat et Beaves in Frelighsburg, on November 3, for her last party
“It was busy, but not all that difficult,” Fanny Bloom wrote to me. I felt a lot more recognition, people knew they were lucky to experience this moment. You could almost touch this feeling, it was so strong. […] Mélanie and I have talked a lot over the past few years. She truly changed my outlook on life, but especially death, for the better. Big gift. »
That evening when Fanny Bloom sang To leave youby Daniel Bélanger, Mélanie and François experienced the most intense moment of their union.
“The bar is high for the next one,” he slipped.
Mélanie Lachance will spend the holidays with her daughters, who recently returned to live at home full time. The weeks when they would normally have been with their father, he will cook for the whole family. “I want my children to see that there is no bitterness between us,” Mélanie explains to me. I feel good about coming full circle for last Christmas. »
PHOTO DANICA LYNN, PROVIDED BY MÉLANIE LACHANCE
On the way to Osheaga on August 6.
She would like to receive medical assistance in dying on January 13, to the sound of the memorable songs of her year, surrounded by those she loves. On the other hand, recent complications could encourage him to review his plan. If she has to leave early, she will.
A friend recently told her: “I have never been around anyone who was learning how to die. » Mélanie replied that in fact, she was learning to live.
“I tried to see everything I have rather than everything I won’t have. I have never felt so happy as I do now. Sometimes I say: “I’m just making a living, it’s nothing extraordinary!”, but my boyfriend keeps telling me that I do it better than many people. With lucidity… And by trying to prepare my world to accept that everyone’s life has an end. The important thing is how we experience it, before everything stops. »