meeting with Marusya Syroechkovoskaya, Russian director of the documentary “How to save a dead friend”

For twelve years, the Russian director Marusya Syroechkovoskaya filmed her life and that of Kimi, “his soul mate” in what she calls “Russia of depression”. She then composed with the images collected during all this period, and with photos, sounds, music, a documentary of exceptional strength. The film hits theaters on June 28.

We pick her up between two trains, in Paris, a stopover on her tour which takes her to present her film in numerous cinemas in France. Green tank top and large suitcase of the same color, face lit up by a radiant smile, Marusya Syroechkovoskaya confides to franceinfo Culture the secrets of making this moving documentary.

Franceinfo Culture: CHow did you come up with the idea of ​​filming your life when you were 16?Marusya Syroeshkovoskaya: I was a very depressed teenager and had trouble expressing my feelings, or asking for help, and the camera made sense of my surroundings and helped me connect with others.

Where did the idea to make a film come from?
I never used anything. For me, they were personal archives. It took me two years to be able to look at it before it was too painful. In 2018, I think it was two years after Kimi died, when I started to dive back into it, I realized there might be a movie in there, and I started to get to work.

What did you want to say with this film?
My first intention was to give the opportunity to people who had not had the chance to know Kimi when he was alive, to meet him. I wanted people to look at it with the same eyes as me. This man I loved so much, with his strengths and his cracks. And I also hope that this film will then enable the public to better detect the first signs of self-destruction in loved ones. It’s not just about drugs, or depression, but an inability to find one’s way in life. And that, I think, affects a lot of people, all over the world.

Your film has a very strong plastic form: how did you recompose the film, with what elements, in what spirit?
This has not been easy. The main creative challenge was that all of this material was not intended to become a film. I filmed with different cameras, different formats, there were photos, sounds, videos, which I had to synchronize. It was a huge challenge, and with my genius editor, Qutaiba Barhamji Aabraham, we decided to invent a specific language, specific to this film, which integrates all these different formats and materials.

The music has a very important place in the film. What role did she play in your story with Kimi?
This film is about our life and journey, how Kimi and I grew up together, starting as teenagers. And so yes, it made sense to me, it was logical, to give an important place to the music that accompanied us at that time. And then there is also this software, VOSIS, which I used for the film, which allowed me to translate Kimi’s images into music. With this software, when I touch Kimi’s body parts on the screen, it generates sounds. His body becomes almost like a musical instrument to be played on. For me it was very poetic to touch the images of Kimi and to try to make music from that. I then used this music for the film.

There is also a lot of rock, punk music: was music a space of freedom for you and for your generation?
I can’t speak for a whole generation but for me anyway, it’s music that saved me, that kept me from ending my life. I was also a musician in a band, so music really helped me, in general, in life.

Can we say that it was the camera that saved you?
Yes, the camera probably also played a role. Filming gave me the feeling of doing something with my life. I also started filming the demonstrations, and so I was active and was thus projected towards the future despite everything. But Kimi didn’t get a chance to experience that feeling, and he couldn’t deal with the pain and depression he was suffering from. What is certain is that the camera helped me in really painful moments, like the period when Kimi was confined to the psychiatric hospital. In those very sad moments, the camera made things less real, and allowed me to watch it all from a distance. I can say that the camera protected me like a shield.

This film tells a very intimate story, but also shows a sacrificed generation. How do you explain the despair of Russian youth?
It is complicated. There are so many reasons. There is mental health, to begin with, which is not taken care of in Russia, but also the rights of young LGTB+ people, who were not respected at all and they are now considered outright outcasts. -law. But there is also poverty, unemployment, and more generally the impossibility in this country of projecting itself into the future. And then there is a very strong stigmatization of people with mental disorders, or suffering from addictions. People internalize this stigma and they lock themselves in their bubble.

Do you think that the economic, social and political situation since the end of the Soviet Union, then the arrival of Putin in power, has played a role in this despair of young people in Russia?
I was a baby when there was still the Soviet system, so I can’t compare, but I remember the years that followed, and the difficulties that our families faced. I remember my mother sewing our clothes, and it was very difficult to find food. But today, I do not have the possibility of comparing to say if the political situation in Russia is the cause of this despair. I only have experience from my life in Russia, so I can’t really answer this question. I don’t know actually.

You left Russia after the start of the war in Ukraine. For what ?
The regime became repressive very quickly. Since the beginning of the war, more than twenty new repressive laws have been voted and entered into force. And those who stayed and who oppose the regime all go to prison one after the other.

Is the fact that your film is seen all over the world important to you?
It’s a film about Russia, because it takes place and is shot in Russia, but I think what the film is about, what we lived Kimi and I, is not specific to Russia. Many people all over the world are going through difficult times, such as the loss of a loved one, depression, or addictions. It’s part of life. I remember when I was a teenager I felt really alone because I was convinced that no one could understand how I felt. I hope my film will help people who are in this kind of situation, to see that they are not alone, that others feel what they feel, and that there is a possible future, and to hope.

Do you still have hope today for Russia?
Yes of course, I think everything eventually passes, that dictators eventually die one day. And there are so many brilliant people in Russia, I think there is a peaceful future for Russia, and a future for Russian youth. In any case, I hope so, and I would like to be right!