Marc Lavoine reflects on his mother’s life and passing in his poignant novel, *When the Horses Arrive*. He expresses his guilt over not moving her from a clinic sooner and shares the emotional struggles he faced after her death. Lavoine describes her as a resilient woman who tirelessly cared for others and highlights their spiritual bond. His journey through grief led him to a dark period, revealing the profound impact she had on his life and identity.
Marc Lavoine sought to provide his mother with a more fitting conclusion to her story. This heartfelt desire inspired him to create a dreamlike and moving novel that reflects on the final three weeks of her life. ‘My mother died in a tragic way, I remember being at home and thinking: if you don’t get her out of there, she will die,’ the singer shares in a heartfelt video interview featured in ‘Portrait of the Week’ on TF1.
In the same emotional vein, he reveals, ‘We had placed her in a nearby clinic, and I hesitated to move her because I didn’t want to disturb her neighbors, her friends, her little world.’ He candidly expresses his long-standing guilt, admitting, ‘I felt responsible for not taking her out sooner; she could have lived a few more years. Those are the years I regret, she was only 73.’ He elaborates on the medical struggles she faced, indicating that ‘she underwent three surgeries, was put under anesthesia three times, and her condition was very delicate.’
A Tribute to a Resilient Woman
In his novel, titled When the Horses Arrive (Fayard), which hits the shelves on January 15, Lavoine describes his mother as ‘everything’ to him. He reflects, ‘I capture everything she inspired in me, her advice, and even the things she never said. It’s a true reflection of who she was and her spirit.’
He fondly remembers her as ‘a courageous woman who worked tirelessly, managing the cleaning, cooking, and caring for us and other children who were around.’ Lavoine adds, ‘Her kitchen was always filled with friends enjoying her meals, which brought joy to her otherwise solitary life.’
Discussing her solitude, he shares that his mother ‘loved only one man, waiting for him like a leaf on the ground, but he always chose to go elsewhere until she finally decided to move on.’ He also reveals a spiritual bond they shared, stating, ‘She believed in God, a secret between us, as we didn’t speak of it with my father, who was an atheist and a communist.’
The Depth of Loss
‘A part of you dies,’ Lavoine confesses, reflecting on the overwhelming grief that followed his mother’s passing. He felt an immense weight of responsibility for her death, which led him down a path of self-destruction. ‘When she passed, I lost my faith, my mother, and ultimately myself,’ he recounts, emphasizing how integral she was to his life. ‘She was my anchor, the woman I adored.’
In an emotional recounting of that fateful day, he shares, ‘I was in Gers writing songs when my wife called to say: your mother has died. I had anticipated her passing, so I rushed to the hospital. When I entered her room, my legs gave way, and I fell; my brother had to help me up. I don’t remember much after that,’ he admits softly, acknowledging how delicate it is to share such personal memories.
Following her death, Lavoine endured years of mourning that were particularly challenging. ‘For a long time, I was on autopilot, deeply missing her. In private, I was somewhat withdrawn,’ he explains, admitting to falling into a dark period of depression. ‘I couldn’t accept it; I never truly let her go.’