“It’s time to live for yourself, be selfish, ladies, because selfishness is health,” says author Corinne Maier, quoting feminist Benoite Groulx. #MeFirst! Manifesto for feminine selfishness is a reflection on the altruistic sacrifice of women, written with great humor by this French psychoanalyst who published, in 2007, No kid, 40 reasons not to have childrena politically incorrect and so delightful bestseller.
At 60, Corinne Maier is starting a new life. Without children. “My 27-year-old son finally left home six months ago, what a liberation! », she exclaims on the other end of the line, laughing. “It’s wonderful, I’m completely alive again, I feel like I’m young and light! Free! Total liberation feels so good! “, she says, specifying that her 29-year-old daughter lives in California and had already left home a few years ago.
In #MeFirst! Manifesto for feminine selfishnessCorinne Maier thinks that it is high time that women assert their right to selfishness, as men do, because selfishness can be a path to liberation.
“Why are women confined to supporting roles? Why can’t they be selfish? To refuse to be of service to others? To refuse to spend more time taking care of household chores, children and their aging parents while their brothers work? », she asks.
Corinne Maier promotes the selfishness of living for oneself and not the selfishness of competition.
I don’t want to be better than others, to the detriment of others. My definition of selfishness is the strength to choose oneself, to prefer oneself, to assert oneself.
Corinne Maier, author
Selfishness, the path to liberation
Feminine selfishness challenges preconceived ideas about the benevolence of women. “The traditional image of women is gentleness, tenderness, family harmony. Women do 75% of the world’s unpaid care work, and they still choose a lot [trop] professions linked to the care of others, nurses, teachers, educators, professions that are less well paid, less rewarding. We must encourage young women to go into science, engineering, technology, mathematics and finance, because there are still too few of them going into these more remunerative professions. We must develop this awareness that they can move towards other professions. »
PHOTO CÉLINE NIESZAWER, PROVIDED BY ÉDITIONS DE L’OBSERVATOIRE
Corinne Maier, psychoanalyst and author of #Me First! Manifesto for feminine selfishness
Corinne Maier explains in her manifesto that the fight for selfishness is above all a fight against itself. Because over the years, with the birth of her two children in addition to her work, she has not been able to assert her right to selfishness. Family, husband and children constitute obstacles that hinder women’s professional development.
“It is wrong to think that it is simply a question of organization,” she emphasizes. Household chores and children are still largely women’s tasks. There is also all this talk about the child who fulfills women, the wonders of motherhood while educational constraints continue to increase and being a good mother, as society conceives it, is be fully available for your children. It is more rarely said that fatherhood brings fulfillment to men. »
But why did she have children? “Out of conformity, I see no other explanation! »
Before, you couldn’t say that you didn’t want children, whereas today, it’s more accepted. The new norm will be not having children!
Corinne Maier, author
A space of your own
In her book, the psychoanalyst and essayist recounts her long path towards selfishness and gives some advice to women, even if she knows that Quebec is a step ahead of France when it comes to sharing responsibilities at home. “Choose your life partner wisely who favors sharing tasks and be lazy in domestic chores! Having a place all to yourself, I know it’s a luxury, but if you can create a haven of tranquility, whether it’s in a shed in the garden, it’s a liberation. »
She also began renting a maid’s room a few years ago in Paris, which has become her refuge and which she calls her Confetti, because this place is very small and cheerful. “That’s where I wrote this book, that’s where I live without constraint, where I isolate myself. »
What will happen when women stop doing everything? “The injunction to show solidarity rests two-thirds on female shoulders. And a society founded on the free work of a category of the population in the name of fine principles does not deserve to continue. Under the sun of the feminine ego, the world will change. When this egalitarian society comes, I disegotis, I promise. But not before,” she writes at the conclusion of her manifesto.
#Me First! Manifesto for feminine selfishness
Les Éditions de l’Observatoire
170 pages