Looking for love at 50 and 60

Réseau Contact, the dating website founded in 1996, closed on November 30. It’s the end of an era. Many couples were formed thanks to this site and the members were on average 50 to 55 years old. Where do we find love today at this age?

When we talk to single people aged 45, 50 or 60, we see that they have tried different avenues to meet lovers and that they are accumulating experiences! There are of course applications like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, sites like EliteSingles, RencontreSportive. There are also caring friends who organize blind dates, old flirtations found on Facebook, a recently separated colleague, restaurant outings, weddings and even funerals! What if love was found at the grocery store in the produce section?

” Why not ! You have to have an open mind,” says Andrée-Anne Guénette, 46, co-author of the book Dating in all its forms: secrets from two girls who are no longer 20. “Many people who have been in a relationship for a long time are a little confused by their new singleness at 50. It’s normal. We often hear people say that they would never have imagined themselves at their age being date ! You are not alone ! The situation is new and unknown, so why not be curious and try all kinds of things, at your own pace? »

The one who found herself widowed and single at 38, with two children, began to date two years later. She went through apps, had different experiences, but finally found love at age 43 on Facebook Dating. “What’s reassuring about this site is that you can see if you have any friends in common. It avoids unpleasant surprises,” she says.

Bianca Longpré (aka Ordinary Mother) met François Massicotte on Réseau Contact in 2006. She was 26, he was 40. She worked as a beneficiary attendant at the hospital and studied nursing. “I didn’t have time to meet people, so I registered on Réseau Contact and it worked very well. We were spoiled for choice! she remembers. François sent me a message during the holiday season, I didn’t know who he was! We went cross-country skiing in Saint-Lin on December 27. It was our first date, we had fun and we’ve been together 17 years. He was older than me and didn’t fit what I was looking for, but I thought, “Why not!” »

Do we take this time with Tinder, even if the person does not physically match us? she asks. “It’s more expeditious. We say to ourselves: “This guy doesn’t meet my criteria, on to the next one!” I would never have met François that way,” thinks Bianca Longpré.

Applications: a necessary evil

Sylvie*, 51 years old, doesn’t like the application Tinder, which she considers too quick, she who likes to exchange before embarking on a meeting. “After three text messages, very often, men want to meet… and let’s be honest, the photos never correspond to reality,” she laments. It was through the OkCupid site that she made her most recent encounter; she specified in her profile that she was looking for a long-term relationship. “We wrote to each other for a little over a week, the exchanges went well. We meet for coffee, we have a good time, great conversation, funny, friendly. He walks me to my car, very gentlemanly, two kisses on the cheek. »

A few minutes later, she received a text. “He told me it was nice. Then another text: “I don’t know if you noticed, but I kept looking at your tits.” He continues: “Your breasts look really fantastic. My libido is in overdrive, That’s the bottom of my thoughts, that way we won’t waste our time.” Obviously, I was very disappointed… It’s just depressing and what a waste of time,” says Sylvie.

This observation is shared by many singles.

“I dream of going to a cafe and falling in love, but I’m not Brad Pitt! », continues the man who was in a relationship for 28 years and who found himself single at 57. “I had to relearn how to seduce, start from scratch. In a year and a half, I met 27 people, I met someone with whom I stayed for three years and I have been single again for six months. »

“You are one option among many; applications lack authenticity,” thinks Martin*, 57, single for seven years. He finds that he goes out less than before, but he is very sociable and thinks that anything is possible. “You can meet anywhere as long as two people feel the same way,” he says. Recently at the grocery store, I noticed a woman, but I didn’t dare approach her. »

In her early fifties, Chantal* met her former partner on EliteSingles with whom she stayed for five years. She is 60 years old, has been single for almost two years and navigates between Tinder, Facebook Dating, EliteSingles, RencontreSportive. “Out of 90 meetings, only two men suited me! » She admits that the older we get, the more demanding we are and that, out of spite, it’s the only way to meet people.

Sport, another option

In 2002, Anne-Marie Lefebvre founded RencontreSportive, a website which brings together around 90,000 members who have a passion in common: sport. “We are a community of active people aged 35 to 65. Members organize different sporting activities, they can also meet face-to-face directly,” she explains.

Caroline, 60, has been single for two years. She separated in 2011 from the father of her two children, and has since met a few people, notably an ex-partner who found her on Facebook and with whom she stayed for some time. But it was finally on the RencontreSportive site that she found what she wanted. “At my age, it’s the way that works. Sport is my way of life, I do downhill skiing, tennis, hiking. On this site, there is a lot of information on the members’ profiles, their occupations, sports practiced, age, region and several photos,” she explains. “I want to find a lover who shares my interests, it’s really important. I had a meeting very recently, we’re going very slowly… we’ll see. »

Fortunately, great stories still exist. Michel Caouette still can’t believe it. Separated at 46 after a 21-year relationship, he wanted to take his time to meet again. “At the time, I was cruising in bars, it was easy, at 18-20 years old, but at 46 years old? A colleague pointed me to RencontreSportive, I was a little nervous… A month later, I met Lysabelle, we were born on the same day and the same year, you can’t make this up! We went skating, and we never left each other’s side. »

* Some people do not wish to be recognized by their family or their employer, so only their first name appears in the text.