After years of working there, Antoine Gélinas-Beaulieu believed he had put his anxiety attacks behind him in 2020, when he won the bronze medal in the mass start at the World Long Track Speed Skating Championships.
“As an athlete, we think of ourselves very mentally because it is the portrait that we paint of ourselves and that we paint ourselves,” he notes. I always believed that my problems were physical, that they were simply related to asthma, overtraining, etc. It has been a long job since my return, but I finally admitted to myself what I was suffering from. And it was partly between my two ears. ”
Last winter, Gélinas-Beaulieu was one of the few Canadian skaters to decline the invitation to participate in two World Cups and the World Championships in a bubble in the Netherlands. Struggling with asthma since his youth, he didn’t want to risk exposing himself to the consequences of contracting COVID-19 as the number of cases exploded.
The 29-year-old therefore returned to competition last month at the Canadian Championships in Calgary. He thought he was strong, in control, until he was about to set off for the 1000m.
Not only did Laurent Dubreuil surprise him with the fastest start in history, he also lost his means over the course of the race. As if he was drowning from the inside, to take back his image. Even though he finished third, he suffered martyrdom by spitting out his lungs for 15 minutes after the end of the test.
What happens to me is anxiety before the race, hyperventilation during the race, and asthma and panic attack after the race. A really unpleasant mixture, let’s say.
Antoine Gélinas-Beaulieu
For his next two races, Gélinas-Beaulieu had only one keyword in mind: breathe, Antoine, breathe. Second in the 1500m, even if he held back a little too much for his taste, he won gold in the mass start, an event where he really had a blast.
These three results earned the native of Sherbrooke a selection for the Fall World Cups, the first installment of which will be played from Friday to Sunday in Poland.
Gélinas-Beaulieu has not played in international competition since the World Cup final in March 2020, just before the start of the pandemic.
Butterflies ? “Absolutely,” he replied Wednesday. The distance that gives me the most butterflies is undeniably the group start. When it’s chaotic and anything can happen, that’s where I feel most comfortable and that’s what puts me in a good state of mind. For the individual races, I will have the chance to compete against the best in the world at the start, which will be quite exceptional. ”
The goal
In the 1500m on Saturday, he will start in group A, after which he will continue with the mass start. Sunday, he will try to get out of group B with a good performance in the 1000m. His goal: to be in the top eight after the four World Cups, which would secure him a preselection for the Beijing Olympics.
He has never regretted his absence last year, which forced him to follow from a distance the exploits of Laurent Dubreuil, gold medalist in the 500m and bronze in the 1000m.
“What Laurent has done is exceptional. It showed the whole world that we were able to adapt and organize ourselves with the means at hand. Coming out as a winner from a difficult ordeal like a global pandemic shows the resilience we have in Quebec. ”
Gélinas-Beaulieu would have liked to measure himself against others, but he found his account by training, his true passion.
For many, like Laurent [Dubreuil], it is the competition that makes them triumph in sport. For me, it’s training.
Antoine Gélinas-Beaulieu
For lack of an accessible ring, he sometimes skated on the public track of the Plains of Abraham. But he mostly spent his time in the weight room. This “moment of respite” gave him the opportunity to dwell on neglected facets, such as his departures.
“I’m a middle distance guy. I have to do a bit of everything. It is therefore difficult to focus on specifics, even when it comes to my physiology. As a sprinter, Laurent does three or four weight training sessions per week. I can do one or two max. If I lack a bit of explosiveness, it’s hard to make gains. ”
Now he wants to regain his “racing feeling”. “It might take a little longer, but that doesn’t scare me. We’re going to do a lot of World Cup races and things will come back pretty quickly. ”
The most important thing will be to control what is going on in your head. “Since working on my anxiety and talking about it, I’m taking back control. It’s not easy to be vulnerable – especially not in sport – but it gave me the strength to face my greatest fears. ”