I had a story. Two diagnoses, including one known as “chronic fatigue syndrome” (myalgic encephalomyelitis). Disabled for 10 years this year. I am not alone. I have comforting presences around me, including that of my chum…and the sweetness of the pancakes.
My ally, my accomplice, my “natural magnet” has never liked to see himself as a caregiver… he is one all the same. His main and precious support revolves around what has become a routine challenge for me: cooking. For the average bear, this is trivial. For me, cooking is like participating in a triathlon.
So my lover became my personal chef. He loves cooking and experimenting. We savor every bite of new culinary attempts. I’m ready to play! However, what I prefer is lunch. His pancakes are delicious! A treat to soothe everything else. If I live in closed session, he continues his life, metro, work, sleep. However, the sacred ritual continues… One of my daily joys… His golden pancakes on my plate.
Then my accomplice falls.
He developed long COVID following a first infection. His story ties in with mine. For 19 months, our cocoon has been made of exhaustion, mental fog, pain, post-exercise discomfort… It will resist for a long time, but stopping work becomes unavoidable. Then there will be an endless bureaucracy intervening between him and the best way to treat himself.
The “luck” we have is that we share the same symptoms for two similar chronic conditions, without biological markers, without visible markers… Two INVISIBLE conditions. As if the coronavirus had not left any after-effects. As if he wasn’t always running. COVID takes a long hold in many households, devastating lives and families.
Like so many others in our situation, my loving chef is no longer able to cook. Frozen ready-made meals fill the freezer. My natural magnet no longer cooks our meals and our morning ritual has disappeared.
Our life before no longer exists.
And this week, for my birthday, rather than commemorating the COVID-19 pandemic and its collateral damage, I would give anything to return to the sweetness of pancakes.