To you, dear immigrant teenager or young adult who is reading this, I know that you are facing and have had to face many challenges since your arrival in Canada. Being an immigrant sometimes means feeling disconnected from the society in which you live. We want so badly to fit in, and yet everything conspires to remind us that we are different.
Being an immigrant and belonging to the LGBTQ+ community means facing double discrimination. We diverge both from our host society and, very often, from the expectations our family has for us. We find ourselves doubly isolated, with few points of reference to help us navigate our daily lives. This situation can cause a lot of loneliness and sadness, as it did for me.
I don’t pretend to know everything about the best way to deal with these challenges, but I can still tell you what worked for me. First of all, if you are a believer like me, I want to reassure you. In my vision of things, I tell myself that the Creator is perfect and that, if I was born like this, it is because He wanted me to be like that. It helps me accept myself as I am.
My sexual orientation is a natural part of my identity, and I have nothing to be ashamed of, nor should you. Don’t worry: you’re completely normal. Allow yourself to accept yourself as you are in all your nuances and complexity. Instead of pushing away your true nature, embrace it. This is the first step towards a better life, I assure you. Being at peace with who you are will give you the opportunity to create more authentic connections with others, to meet them with the heart and, thus, to be fundamentally happier.
Next, surround yourself with people who love and support you. If you are lucky enough to have a family who is understanding of your situation, cherish that. If this is not the case, know that there will be people along your path who will be able to give you the help and support you need, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even certain organizations and support groups.
The family that brought us into this world is precious, but the family we choose is just as, if not more, important. Take it from my experience: there are people who will accept you as you are. Don’t doubt it, and allow yourself to really be you, in complete authenticity. Don’t allow anyone to define you. You are so much more than your sexual orientation or gender identity. You are a unique individual with your own personality, dreams and talents. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are, what you should do, and who you should love. Only you know what nourishes your soul, don’t let others dictate it to you. Raise your head high and be proud of who you are.
My generation and those that follow are the first generations of immigrants to be more open about who they are and to make their own coming out, for those who care. We are pioneers, don’t forget that. Of course, this comes with certain challenges, but our presence, our openness and, above all, our decision to no longer remain silent will help the young people of future generations to be more themselves, I am sure. What we do is important, keep that in mind and, when you face difficulties, tell yourself that you are paving a path that will help many others.