Did you see what happened yesterday in Montreal?
• Read also: Seven initiatives to save downtown Montreal
It’s a historic event that we haven’t seen anywhere else.
The mayor invited the journalists and told them that she no longer knew what to do to get her city out of the mess.
“I’m out of ideas,” she said. I am totally overwhelmed by events. I look at all the chronic problems plaguing my city, and I don’t have the slightest idea what I could do. I don’t even know where to start… I don’t have the beginnings of a possible solution!”
GIANT RABBITS
I’m kidding, of course… The mayor didn’t say that.
But read the list of nine initiatives that Valérie Plante presented yesterday to save downtown Montreal, you will see: if that is not an admission of helplessness, I don’t know what is.
First initiative: add new distinctive street furniture.
The QMI Agency reported yesterday that this is not the first time that the City has decided to add furniture to revitalize the neighborhood. Last May, animal sculptures were installed on Sainte-Catherine Street to bring back a feeling of security in the Gay Village.
Yes, friends. Animal sculptures.
This is the first initiative. The one at the top of the list.
Homeless people shit in the street, drug addicts rob restaurants to buy their dope, girls high at six in the morning give blowjobs in the alleys while pushers don’t even hide to sell their crack, businesses close one after the other, the Village looks like the Bronx in the 70s… but don’t worry, we’re going to “add street furniture”!
Needless to say, it starts strong.
Things are going strong at city hall! It percolates!
THE FRENCH QUARTER
Second initiative: “Designate the Latin Quarter as a Francophonie district”.
Yes sir!
Who said Montreal is becoming anglicized? Thanks to Valérie Plante, French speakers will now have their own little neighborhood. Their ghetto.
Where they can be served in this ancestral language that is so close to their hearts.
Isn’t that beautiful?
From Atwater to Saint-Denis, it will be in English. Then afterwards, at the end of rue Sainte-Catherine where the buildings are boarded up and where you have to walk with your head down to make sure you don’t trip into a junkie, it’s going to be in French.
Like the French Quarter of Louisiana!
Third initiative: “Consolidate the positioning of the city center in the technology, health and creative cultural industries sectors”.
In French, that means: do you want to open an arcade, a supervised injection center or a strip bar? Choose downtown Montreal!
Fourth initiative: “Establish a pedestrian priority zone in Old Montreal”.
There are not enough closed streets in Montreal, we are going to close more!
More closed streets, fewer people downtown, fewer people downtown, more businesses closing, more businesses closing, even more misery!
That’s what I call a plan!
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