Host and columnist Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and her partner, Judith Séguin, welcomed their first child, Miro, at the beginning of May. The nurses who accompanied them showed “supreme kindness” throughout the birth, which was not easy. The couple wants to make this clear from the outset.
The first steps of Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and Judith Séguin in the world of parenthood were nevertheless strewn with little pangs of sadness. Eugénie and Judith – like many other couples from diverse backgrounds – realized the extent to which the forms in Quebec are heteronormative, more than 20 years after the legal recognition of same-sex parenthood. At the fertility clinic, in a children’s hospital, in the vaccination record…
Even on the identification card hanging on their child’s crib at the CHUM, it was written “mother: Eugénie, father: Judith”.
It was after four intense days at the CHUM, we were a little tired too, but it was our first interaction as a family. It made my heart ache, especially for Miro.
Judith Séguin, during a videoconference on Friday
On May 17, during the International Day Against Transphobia and Homophobia, Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau took to social networks to denounce the microaggressions and major attacks that are still perpetrated against communities here and elsewhere. In several countries, she recalled, her family would not have the right to exist. While emphasizing the exceptional welcome from the CHUM team, Eugénie mentioned the etiquette at Miro’s crib and the comment from a nurse who told Judith that she was going to have to “adopt” Miro (before inform and correct the situation).
“To be honest, I had no intention of being a whistleblower; on the contrary, it was a militant intention, like every year,” explains Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau, 34 years old. She wanted to talk about the progress that remains to be made. These forms send a message of exclusion that has created discomfort among new mothers. And made them sad, too.
Go forward
Eugénie’s post on Instagram caused a stir (several parents reported similar experiences in other hospitals)… and it ended up being brought to the attention of Nadège Staco, until recently head nurse at the CHUM birthing center (she has just been appointed interim coordinator). “At the time, it hurt me so much to know that one of my patients had gone through that,” confides M.me Staco, present at the videoconference.
Inclusion is dear to him. His team is trying to change the name given to the CHUM birth center – the Mother-Child Unit – which immediately excludes fathers and non-binary people. Recently, the CHUM team also met with a non-binary person, before giving birth, to find out about their needs. “For the baby box, it completely escaped me,” summarizes Nadège Staco, who also became aware of the gendered colors of the boxes – blue for boys, pink for girls.
There is enough stress when you become a parent. Let’s try to ease this stress as best we can.
Nadège Staco, interim coordinator at the CHUM birth center
Nadège Staco called Eugénie and Judith on Thursday to tell them that they had been heard and listened to. She juggles two options: remove the cardboard (which no longer really has any use in this post-nursery era) or make it more inclusive, by writing “parents” instead of father and mother. Eugénie suggests a neutral box, which could be filled by hand.
In the current context, where we are seeing a release of hateful and ignorant speech towards LGBTQ+ communities, “do you fear the repercussions of your decision? », asks Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau to Nadège Staco. “There will always be derogatory comments, but that doesn’t stop me from moving forward,” says Nadège Staco, who also wants to bring the thoughts to the managers of other birthing hospitals at a future meeting.
Progress, but…
It was in 2002 that same-sex parent families obtained legal recognition in Quebec, and since then, the Coalition of LGBT+ Families has demanded that the forms reflect these changes in the Civil Code. “We appreciate gestures of inclusion,” says the co-director of the organization, Mona Greenbaum, who points out that other hospitals and school boards have done so in the past. But according to her, the order must come from above. “We need a clear directive from the government so that each public institution has the legal duty to adapt its forms to correspond to same-sex families and also to the fact that we recognize non-binary people in the Civil Code,” she says. A few years ago, Minister Sonia LeBel told him that there were 35,000 forms in Quebec to adapt.
Learn more
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- 0.6%
- According to the 2021 census, among couples with children in Quebec, 5,240 are of the same gender, transgender or non-binary, or 0.6% of the total. The Coalition of LGBT+ Families estimates instead that around 50,000 children in Quebec live in a same-sex parent family.