Interview to get a job taking place a few years ago, already…
Posted at 6:00 a.m.
Director : Hello !
candidate : Hello Sir ! I brought you a coffee.
Director : Thanks, but I already have one.
candidate : Sorry.
Director : I looked at your CV, it is correct, but you do not have much experience.
candidate : It’s because I just left university.
Director : Yeah, yeah… Your results are not bad.
candidate : I finished with A+.
Director : You know, the grades, we can’t trust that, once on the field, that doesn’t mean anything anymore.
candidate : Sure.
Director : So why should we hire you?
candidate : Because I am a worker. I’m willing to work lots of overtime. I will be available at all times. I am a team girl. I love authority. I already have your company logo tattooed on my heart.
Director : Do not go too fast for the tattoo. Do you have any questions ?
candidate : What is the position of third assistant to the second assistant?
Director : It consists in assisting.
candidate : And, if I may say so, what are the conditions?
Director : You are first hired as a trainee for six months, without pay, and if you do the trick, your traineeship is renewed for another six months, doubling your pay.
candidate : It’s tempting!
Director : Thank you for coming.
candidate : Is that all?
Director : Yes, we have dozens of interviews today.
candidate : When will I hear from you?
Director : I do not really know. But above all, do not call us, we will call you. If it’s happened. Have a good day !
Job interview taking place in 2022…
Director : Hello !
candidate : Hello Sir !
Director : I brought you a coffee.
candidate : Is it a macchiato?
Director : A macchiato?
candidate : An espresso made with a small amount of frothed milk, similar to cappuccino, but stronger.
Director : No, it’s an ordinary cafe. I am really sorry.
candidate : (big sigh) I’m fine.
Director : From tomorrow, we will have a macchiato machine.
candidate : Yeah yeah. I looked at your website, it’s good, but it lacks achievements.
Director : That’s why we need someone like you.
candidate : Fortunately, your results are not bad.
Director : Our profits are up.
candidate : You know, profits, you can’t trust that. It goes up, it goes down.
Director : Sure.
candidate : Then why should I join your company?
Director : Because we are a company that has the well-being of its employees at heart.
candidate : Me, my well-being is three weeks of vacation in the summer, three weeks of vacation in the winter. And three weeks of vacation, in the spring. It’s made very beautiful, spring. And of course, three weeks in the fall, to see the colors.
Director : It should work out.
candidate : The posted salary is correct, but it would be better if it was double, let’s say. Holidays are expensive!
Director : It should work out.
candidate : And then the position, instead of executive assistant, I would rather be assistant director, it would look better in my Instagram profile.
Director : It should work out.
candidate : Well, well, that’s not all, I have to go, I have about ten interviews today.
Director : No need to go anywhere else, you are engaged! I texted the board and they agreed to all of your terms. Assistant director, three months of vacation per year and double salary. Welcome to our house !
candidate : Oh yes ? It went fast! I don’t like it when things go fast like that, it stresses me out. I’m not sure I want the big job, with the big salary and the big vacation. It’s so outdated, all that. I have to think about it.
Director : When will we hear from you?
candidate : I do not really know. But above all, don’t call me, I’ll call you. If it’s happened. Have a good day !