Many of you have written to me, after discovering the painful journey that led actress Rachel Fontaine to a diagnosis of high-functioning autism – finally. You were touched and, at times, worried.
You have recognized loved ones who are struggling to come to terms with the world around them, friends who are reluctant to consult or others who have felt neglected since their diagnosis1.
One mother’s email particularly moved me: “These people seem happy. I would like to tell my son that he can do it too, but the texts do not answer my questions. How do these people manage to live with this condition? How do they overcome the challenges this brings? What help has benefited them? »
If there is no user manual to deal with who we are, I still wanted to offer some food for thought to this reader. I first turned to the one who had inspired his questions: Rachel Fontaine.
“It’s an everyday exercise, to be happy! We look good, but we get a little slack from time to time. Me, it’s my friends who help me.
– What do they actually do?
– They love me. They know my strengths and help me remember them…”
This is true for neurotypicals as it is for chameleons, but the latter may understand more easily what Rachel Fontaine is going through. This is why she dreams of creating support groups between invisible autistic people. “Ventilation makes all the difference. »
Annick Gosselin also believes in the importance of meetings. The worker at Autisme Centre-du-Québec is the mother of a boy and stepmother of a girl, both of whom have an autism spectrum disorder.
We can read on the subject, but also meet people who are like us to be inspired by what they have put in place. It can be pet therapy, art therapy, day-to-day strategies. It is very vast!
Annick Gosselin, worker at Autisme Centre-du-Québec
Moreover, the community organization Autisme Centre-du-Québec offers various resources to its members, whether in terms of the labor market, romantic relationships or interpersonal communication.
On the private side, the multidisciplinary team led by DD Isabelle Hénault (who accompanies Rachel Fontaine) also profiles her interventions according to the needs of each patient.
“We work a lot on acceptance of the diagnosis, but also on managing emotions, access to studies, employment support and intimate relationships. »
This expertise extends beyond the Autism & Asperger clinic in Montreal. The DD Hénault offers training to professionals in the public system, collaborates with Autisme Sans Limites to create sex education workshops, works with Neuroplus (which helps people find a job for free) and is involved in various regional associations. His advice is to consult the offer of rehabilitation centers for intellectual disabilities and autism spectrum disorders, then organizations close to them.
Speaking of advice, Rachel Fontaine was marked by comedian Réal Béland, who said in an interview that level 1 autism is better experienced when you know your weaknesses.
A person who knows their weaknesses well makes better choices. Let’s say I have 10 energy balls for the day. There are things that require more marbles from me than others and I have to balance everything according to how I feel.
Rachel Fontaine
She gives me the example of a party she wants to attend, but which would take too many marbles… To prevent the guests from being disappointed by her absence, she will explain the situation to them and suggest an activity that will suit them better. with his energy. “I take care of myself, but I don’t neglect my loved ones! »
However, to get there, you need a diagnosis – and we know that the path is sometimes difficult to obtain it. While the heaviness of the process may discourage some, the stigma neurodivergence can also be a factor of reluctance.
“They are afraid of being affixed a label, summarizes the DD Isabelle Henault. For me, it’s more of a way of consolidating our identity and equipping ourselves properly. There is so much information available now! »
The DD Patricia Garel, child psychiatrist at the CHU Sainte-Justine, has often collaborated with the DD Henault. According to her, to live better, “it does not necessarily take therapies or personalized services, but sometimes just a better understanding of the situation”.
“From the moment when the relatives of a person on the autism spectrum understand that they are not arrogant, insensitive or lazy, it changes everything,” she continues. I like to talk about social dyslexia. Young dyslexics have very real specific difficulties. Just because they aren’t trying hard doesn’t mean they’re having trouble in school. And we know it can get better. If we draw a parallel with social dyslexia, we understand that the difficulties of the person on the autism spectrum are real, but that there are strategies to manage. Their life is more complex, but it is no less beautiful. There are so many happy people! »
Rachel Fontaine estimates that it took five years before touching what could be happiness: “With the diagnosis, we learn to better manage our emotions, our energy, our passions… We can succeed in having a rich personal and professional life. To be diagnosed is to watch over oneself, but also over the people around us. It is a gesture to make so that our relations become more harmonious. »
To this end, I leave the final word to Annick Gosselin: “At the beginning of my practice, we tried to make people with autism as less autistic as possible. Twenty years later, fortunately, we are no longer there! Rather, we seek to find a common language to understand each other. The idea is to respect who we have in front of us, regardless of their profile. Then we can go a long way together. »
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