My father was born on December 25th. Maybe he is the real Santa Claus! Recently we were talking about him, my son and me. He said to me: “I did not know Grandpa much, but he seemed to me to be a benevolent man”. It was true. He was that kind of person who seeks to understand before judging. He hated arguments and I knew he had a hard time with professional conflicts. He defended his principles – which were not always mine – but without acrimony.
As a teenager, I sometimes found him too kind even in the face of adversity. But, for the record, my mother’s intensity also got on my nerves a bit. I realized as I got older that I was the pure product of a mixture of father and mother.
I am speaking to you about this because that “old” word of benevolence seems to me to be lacking in today’s world. Of course, since the start of the pandemic, there are many examples that warm our hearts. Admirable caregivers, a generous and inventive faculty, caregivers without whom elderly or sick people simply would not survive, it is Quebec that we love.
But the pandemic has also damaged our reserves of kindness, tolerance and, at times, affection (yes, yes, me too!). The confinement, the bereavement, the serious illnesses of our loved ones affected us even more than usual. We get irritable pretty quickly. The vaccine-not-vaccine conflict has strained our patience.
I’ve seen us exhausting each other bawling at each other or screaming our bitterness indiscriminately, especially on social media. We have sometimes forgotten that we are linked by our need for others.
Without the friendly gaze of the people around us, without the solidarity which alone can build the common good, justice and equality, we go “to the devil”! After all, the opposites of benevolence are malevolence, acrimony, wickedness. We are not immune to possible individual and social abuses. In France, in the United States, fragmented societies, polarized to the extreme, frighten us by the high level of hostility between people and communities. Who wants that from us?
So, I would like that at Christmas, each and every one of us receives a magic potion of benevolence to use for oneself and for whoever feels the need. So that in families that are tried, even divided, we look for ways to come together and love each other without judgment. So that friends, neighbors, colleagues, whom the pandemic has driven away, talk to each other again, support each other in the face of unexpected and sometimes brutal changes. So that the “city and field rats” speak and understand each other better. So that the majority and the minorities dialogue in a spirit of true and responsible reconciliation. So that the political decision-makers are more sensitive to the fate of the badly taken, unlucky, badly housed people. So that women feel once and for all that their admirable work in public and community services is fully recognized. So that economic decision-makers, especially the bigger ones, think beyond their pockets full of millions. This is also benevolence! A generous view of the world and the necessary gestures.
We will continue to debate, to bicker. Deep differences separate individuals and social groups. Benevolence, therefore a glance without acrimony or condescension on the other, must not become a brake on the debate and the contesting of the “established disorder”. Opposing interests collide, let’s face it. But if, as a people, we are capable of listening, of empathy, of understanding, we may be able to find passageways that will allow us to move forward towards a society of the common good. People, families or communities would all benefit. It would be the best gift we could give each other.