Since his injury Pedro Mendes took part in only two official matches. A first with the reserve of Montpellier, at the end of his rehabilitation, in December 2021, before relapsing and leaving for treatment in Clairefontaine. Then a second, last May, during the last day of Ligue 1, in Angers.
Despite the pain and dashed hopes, the Portuguese clung on for eleven months. Now back on his feet, and while he participated in all of the physical preparation with the MHSC, he feels ready. A few glitches have still prevented him from starting the championship, but the 31-year-old former player could be available for the trip to Brest this weekend.
PEDRO MENDES – Interview
Are you finally off the hook, Pedro?
Everything is better, even if things can always be improved in life. But yes, the worst is over. Everything that can happen to me at this moment is only happiness. I take it with a smile. And everything I went through last year, I try to put it behind me.
For me, it’s all or nothing!
For the past few months, you’ve written on your Instagram account that getting back to 60% is out of the question. In terms of percentage, where are you now?
First, it must be said, all professional footballers and all top athletes are never 100%. There are always small glitches, small pains. When I said that, I meant that if I’m at 90%, I’ll be at the max. But 60% wouldn’t have been good for me, for the team, for the fans, for the management. I would have lied to myself, I would not have been able to make the efforts that my teammates make: jumping, tackling, braking, sprinting. If it’s to make an appearance, to have one more game, it’s useless. I prefer not to play. If I’m not able to make the effort, I prefer to be honest with the coach. It’s my way of being and thinking. For me, it’s all or nothing.
Ten days ago, the coach spoke of a muscular alert: everyone was worried. Was it related to the knee injury?
Over the past year, it’s been a bad knee. But there, it was the ischio, during a sprint. Maybe it comes from a small muscle deficit related to the injury, of course. But nothing to do with the knee. I can guarantee you that my crusader is doing very well. I manage to do the rotations, the pivots work very well, I manage to jump. On recovery, I suffered from the patellar tendon. But these are things that happen. Some players play with tendinitis, or tendinopathies. And if others are able to play with it, I will be able to too. Afterwards, there are things to settle and to do with the medical staff. But We are on the right path.
What has been harder since April 2021: the physical injury or the psychological consequences? Especially when you think you’re coming back, with the reserve, but you relapse.
In fact, there are several steps. When the crusaders are confirmed, everything collapses, you cry. Afterwards, you pass a course. There are no more tears. You tell yourself that you will come back stronger. But that is not true. For me, in any case, it’s cliché, because you lose the notion of the ground, of space. You’re building muscle, but you’re losing speed. Not to mention that once on the field, there is a period of adaptation when you come back. Me, when I resumed, with the reserve against Angers, I felt that I was not 100%. I then asked for more time. Mentally, I was present. I wanted to show the new coach, show everyone that I was capable, but my knee wouldn’t allow it.. Mentally, I was going through ups and downs. I went from enthusiasm and excitement to relapse.
I didn’t drop anything. I can look at myself in the mirror.
– John Catuffe
And then, on my return from Clairefontaine, I felt much, much better. My starting point was there. I felt able to finish the season, to have a few minutes. I had a discussion with the coach, he told me to decide, to see if I was comfortable. For me, it doesn’t matter if it was three minutes, ten or fifteen, I took them. Today, the only thing I can say is that I didn’t give up. I can look at myself in the mirror. When it didn’t work right, I went left. I found the way.
It took a while, but you finally feel like you didn’t cheat, right?
It’s my personality. I am made like this. Once, with the former coach, I remember that we had to play at home against Lille. I had a small calf glitch. And I was honest. I told him that I didn’t feel, that I couldn’t sprint. And he didn’t make me play. There’s no point being in the field if you can’t sprint. It will hurt the team, and I don’t want to leave a bad image. We, we are judged for what we do on the pitch. Nobody wants to know if we slept badly, if we had gastro the night before, if your child didn’t let you sleep. Nobody cares about that, nobody wants to know about that. So if I’m not in the best condition, why be on the pitch?
Is this judgment which does not take into account the “sides” hard to accept?
It’s hard, but it’s part of the job. We will never change that. Unless you start writing on social networks: yesterday, I didn’t sleep well. But If we do that, what will people say? What are excuses ! It is up to us, therefore, to find solutions, to be honest, to make our own judgments. If I play a rotten match because, the day before, I didn’t sleep well because my daughter cried or because I had a family problem, then I look at myself in the mirror, I know why I I had a bad game. At least I’m aware of things, of my errors in quotes. It is up to everyone to make their own judgment, and to move away from social or public judgment.
I was like, why me? I needed a change of scenery!
Why did you choose to go to Clairefontaine during your rehabilitation: the need for a change of scenery, to test new methods?
Both, in fact. There were things that didn’t go very well. I know that I did everything that was told to me here. There were ways of working, I respected them. After, if it doesn’t work, I try to see other opinions. I also needed a change of air, because mentally it wasn’t easy. As I said: you come back, you relapse, then you come back but there is tendonitis. You don’t get out of it, you go back to the treatment room. This “yoyo” between the field and the physio room worried me. To tell you, I walked away from football. I couldn’t watch our matches. I had rage, frustration, a lot of feelings. I was like, why me? Why am I not in the field after ten months, when normally this kind of thing is settled in eight or nine months, maximum? Why me, when I’m square, that I have an irreproachable lifestyle. I asked myself questions, but sometimes there is no answer.
I couldn’t watch our matches (…) I did “reset” and I walked away from everything.
So I needed to get away from that environment, because it hurt me to see the teammates on the pitch, and I couldn’t. I tried to clear my head. To stop thinking about football. Even watching a Champions League match, I couldn’t do it. This frustrated me and I doubted. Therefore, I did a “reset” and walked away from everything. On the other hand, I would like to thank the management, the understanding of Michel Mézy and the president, in particular. They were on my side, they always listened to me and respected me.
During all these months, have you felt alone?
I can tell you that I hit rock bottom, and I cried a lot of times. Because you doubt. You say to yourself: do I bring it back to the way it was before? What more can I do? And you start to doubt. After; it’s part of the job. In life, there are moments like that, whether it’s for a footballer, a firefighter, a policeman, a lawyer. There are ups and downs. This is also where you see who is next to you. Your family and loved ones. Those who love you.
Fans were wondering who I was
When you hurt yourself, you get messages, of course. But it is very beautiful. During the process, who is next to you? Who finds out? Who asks if things are going mentally, if morale is fine. It’s fine a little post when you get hurt, but during the year, who gives you a call? Your friends and loved ones only. You have to go through it to see who is really next to you. If I come back and it goes well, everyone will come back to me. I will be asked again for places, jerseys. But it’s true that during my rehabilitation, I happened to participate in dedications. And I heard supporters wondering who I was: “what is his name ?”. However, I have been at the club for years, I started. But no one remembers you. They have forgotten. Football is the present moment. What you have done in the past is forgotten. It’s time T that counts. And that touches you, anyway.
It’s up to me to do what it takes to get myself in shape, to show that I’m capable.
During your absence, boys have emerged, others have arrived. But the ideal central hinge formula has not yet been found. Can you imagine taking over the right center position?
There is never a guaranteed place in football. Today it’s you. Tomorrow it could be another. Thanks to my injury, others came and came back well: Maxime Estève, Nicolas Cozza, Mamadou Sakho. Now it’s up to me to do what it takes to put myself in condition to, as soon as the opportunity arises, show that I am capable. It’s been a year that I haven’t played, that I haven’t done 90 minutes. Quietly, I try to do what is necessary. If the opportunity arises, it’s up to me to be present. And if not, if I have a bad game, I’ll look back and at least tell myself that I did everything right. Bad games, there are. You can get into a game, but you can’t know if it’s going to go well, or if you’re going to have a bad game. But we always try to do the best we can. And the game after, the same. This is how you progress.
What direction will extend a guy who returns from a white season?
You are at the end of your contract: do you feel a form of pressure, the need to quickly come back and convince?
I will be honest. This situation, the fact of being at the end of the contract, is in the back of my mind. But very far. I try not to think about that, because I can’t think about that until I’m on the pitch. What direction will extend a guy who returns from a white season and who has not yet asserted himself in the team? It’s normal, I understand it and I accept it. Me, I try to focus on the things I can control. The contract, I do not master. To be a holder, I do not control, it is a decision of the coach. So I’m going to focus on daily life, care, lifestyle, what I eat, all the little details that I can control. Individual work, field work. And the rest will be consequences. They will be positive or negative.