“I knew the risk”, assures Wednesday March 23 on franceinfo the French actor and filmmaker Alain Beigel, who arrived on March 12 in Ukraine to fight alongside the Ukrainian forces and join the International Legion. He finally left the next day, after Russia bombed the Yavoriv military base. “It sounds like a jet plane coming straight at youhe confides. I felt totally helpless. Even if they put a gun in my hands, I wouldn’t have been damned to use it.”
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franceinfo: How are you today?
Alain Beigel: How are you. I was very out of phase, but today the strongest shock I feel is that of the martyrdom of the Ukrainians, especially in Kharkiv and Mariupol. I am whole and sheltered.
“It was a very unique and a little traumatic experience, but it’s nothing compared to the reality of populations and cities almost razed to the ground. It’s terrible.”
Alain Beigelat franceinfo
What happened that night?
Having not slept the previous two nights, I had gone to bed early on Saturday evening, around 8 p.m. I finally woke up and got up at 4am. I was smoking cigarettes while drinking sugar water then, around 6 o’clock, I heard a bewildering whistle. It sounds like a jet plane coming straight at you. It starts from afar, it grows, it occupies all the space, and it was followed by a monumental explosion. The crash is truly indescribable. I felt the walls shaking and things in my body. All the guys came out of the rooms and shouted “Run, run, run, go!” [Cours, cours, cours, va-t-en !] I followed them into the large courtyard where there was a zigzag trench dug in the asphalt. We are about fifty to have thrown ourselves into it and it lasted an hour. There was a whistle every 5 minutes. At that point, we cower to death. We want to go underground. We are all tight against each other. It’s a special moment because we know it’s going to fall, but where?
Have you seen death come upon you?
I thought to myself that, in such a special moment, everyone reacts deep inside according to their experience, their age, their family situation. As for me, I have no children.
“There were guys who were scared and paralyzed with fear. I was resolute.”
Alain Beigelat franceinfo
I think it’s a somewhat unconscious defense mechanism that imposed itself on me. I didn’t say to myself “what an idiot I was to find myself here in this situation”, I didn’t invoke God to spare me, I didn’t make a promise to myself not to do this again or this if I got out of it. Despite the great stress, I kept a certain calm. I was waiting and I said to myself “if it falls on me, it will be so”.
What made you decide to return to France?
All morning it was chaos. The disorganization was very great. We were 400 men, no more than a quarter had a weapon and the Russian paratroopers were probably around. At one point, the one who had become commander of the volunteers, an English green beret named Stuart, charismatic, with extraordinary composure and great humanity, lined us up and said: “Guys, the situation is serious. Now those who want to leave, take a step forward”. Even if someone had put a weapon in my hands, I wouldn’t have been damned to use it. I felt totally helpless. I took a step forward.
Today, what do you say to yourself about this experience?
It’s a pretty strong human experience. We fraternize with people we have never seen, from Europe, North America, New Zealand, Africa or even Tahiti. There is emulation and sympathy. But there was a lot of amateurism according to the seasoned soldiers I met there.
“I won’t say it was madness to go there. I knew the risks. The momentum I had was thoughtful.”
Alain Beigelat franceinfo
It was President Zelensky’s call that triggered me, when I learned that he was requisitioning men from 17 to 60 years old when I am 57. I know kyiv well, I went there six or seven times, at the film festival or with friends. I felt concerned. I wasn’t fantasizing about having a submachine gun and getting on a barricade, I told myself that I was giving myself time for the experience to know if I was going to hold on physically, but I found myself in a situation where we had no control. And I finally believe that without military experience, it is extremely dangerous. There is no time to train people.