You have to live with the virus. This is the new watchword. It sounds like a song by Francine Raymond, written by Luc Plamondon. You have to live with the one you love. Except that in this case, it’s rather, you have to live with the one you don’t like.
Posted yesterday at 7:00 a.m.
What does it mean to live with the virus? We’ve been doing everything to live without him for two years. By running away from it. By staying in our bubble. By not going anywhere. By keeping him away. And there, suddenly, we are going to act differently? First of all, living with someone is done in pairs. He should know, the virus, that we decided to turn around, turn around hidden, but turn around anyway. How do we do that ? We text him:
“Hello, virus, are you there?
– HAN! WHAT ? IT’S YOU ! OF COURSE I’M HERE! I’VE BEEN HERE FOR TWO YEARS! THAT I BOMBARD YOU WITH TEXTS WITH VIRUSES, EVERY DAY! YOU NEVER ANSWERED ME! YOU HAVE NEVER CLICKED ON ME! YOU HAVE ALWAYS GHOSTED ME! AND THERE, YOU ANSWER ME, FINALLY! I DO NOT BELIEVE IT !
– Don’t get any ideas, I just want us to learn to live together.
– LIVE TOGETHER ! OH MY GOD ! YEAH! OW, YOU ARE SPECIAL! FOR TWO YEARS, YOU PREVENTED YOURSELF FROM GOING TO THE RESTAURANT, THE CINEMA, THE GYM, ON A TRIP, TO BE SURE YOU WON’T MEET ME, WORSE, BANG THE SAME, YOU WANT TO LIVE TOGETHER? GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS, I’M COMING!
– Wait … Wait a bit. I want us to live together, but not to live together, to live together. You understand ?
– NO.
“That’s why we have to learn to live together.” We have to find a new way of living together. We must not reproduce the old model of people living together.
– YOU WANT TO FORM AN OPEN COUPLE?
– Yes, a couple open with the windows open, especially.
– WHAT DOES IT MEAN ?
— That means that the vaccination passport will no longer be required anywhere. So we can go to the cinema.
— WE WILL BE ABLE TO GO AND SEE THE BATMAN TOGETHER ?
– Yes, but I would prefer that you do not sit next to me.
– WE CAN GO TO THE CINEMA TOGETHER, BUT WE CAN’T SIT TOGETHER?
– That’s it.
– YOU TREATE ME LIKE A MISTRESS OR A LOVER!
– If one wants to…
– DON’T WANT SOMEBODY TO HANDLE US TOGETHER?
“It’s not that we’re being grabbed together that bothers me. What bothers me is grabbing you.
– YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH ME WITHOUT EVER HITTING ME?
– You’ve understood everything.
“DO YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT RELATIONSHIPS?”
– Exactly.
– YOU’RE A LITTLE SEAL…
– Ouch, virus, you have to understand me! You haven’t let go of me for two years, you’ve been after me, you haven’t left. I did everything for you to get rid of. I closed everything. I confined myself. I even got vaccinated three times to make you disappear, and you’re still here.
– I AAAAIIIIME YOU!
– You do not love me. You just need me so you don’t die. You are a profiteer!
– WELL THERE, DO YOU WANT TO CAUGHT? THIS IS NOT HOW WE WILL LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER!
– I know I know. The problem with our relationship is that you need my body so as not to die and I, if you take my body, I risk dying.
– WE ARE SO ROMEO AND JULIET!
“I’d rather we were like Brad and Angelina. Separated and alive.
– YOU WANT TO LIVE TOGETHER, BUT LIKE EXS. WE CAN GO TO THE SAME PLACES, BUT WE KEEP OUR DISTANCES.
– In the middle of it. We tolerate each other. Consider yourself lucky that it’s come to this. It is thanks to vaccination. Without that, I would never have taken the risk of meeting you. With three doses, you scare me less. But to help, if you could stop transforming…
– IF I CHANGE ALL THE TIME, IT’S YOUR FAULT, YOU DON’T LOVE ME AS I AM, SO I TRY TO VARY.
– The more you vary, the more I move away. Stay as you are.
— TRY ME.
“Okay, hopefully it’ll go well.”
– WHAT ? IT’S ALREADY OVER ? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT ? RESTO? CINE? THEATER ?
— …
– WILL YOU ANSWER ME NOW?
— …
— LIVE TOGETHER NOT TOGETHER! HEY HUMANS, IT’S COMPLICATED! »