How to talk about gender identity as a family without getting angry around the table

Demonstrations against “gender ideology”, opposition to mixed toilets, controversy surrounding the hiring of a non-binary teacher… Gender identity and the way of talking about it with children have been the subject of debate public this year. In preparation for your holiday discussions, here are some keys to understanding how the subject is approached at school.

A student can change their first name themselves from the age of 14

In the United States, many people wonder if a teenager should have the right to ask their school to change their first name without their parents being informed. In Quebec, the rules are that a minor aged 14 and over can make a request of this type themselves.

The guide on the issue produced in 2021 by the Ministry of Education notes that “a request to change the sex designation of a minor child can be made by the minor himself if he is aged 14 years and over or by his guardian with his consent. For minors under 14 years of age, it is done by their guardian.”

In accordance with modifications made in 2016 to the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms, any Quebec educational establishment must use the usual first and pronoun chosen by the trans or non-binary student as well as respect the gender identity of the student. this last. It is not necessary that the mention of the sex or the first name have been legally modified in the civil status registers of Quebec — or changed in the internal administrative file of the student — for this measure to be applied.

Sexually diverse youth are still bullied and marginalized

Sexually diverse young people experience more bullying than their peers, according to a Statistics Canada survey from 2022. A greater proportion (77%) of young people who are transgender, non-binary or experience same-gender attraction thus declared having experienced bullying compared to young cisgender people attracted only to people of a different gender (69%).

This is one of the reasons why teaching gender diversity at school is unlikely to encourage students to identify themselves other than according to what they feel individually, according to Annie Pullen Sansfaçon, head teacher. of the Canada Research Chair in Transgender Children and Their Families.

“Children of gender and sexual diversity are still very marginalized. It’s not a position we want to put ourselves in if we don’t feel the need to be,” said the researcher in an interview with Duty This year.

Basic notions are taught from the 1st year

At school, students begin discussing gender issues in the first year of primary school. These lessons are included in the mandatory content in sexuality education, a program in place since 2018.

At this age, students are learning about the concepts of gender stereotypes and roles. “It’s very much rooted in reflection and awareness about sexual roles in general. We can talk about the sexual roles of parents or the jobs we can do later,” he gave as an example to Duty Julie Descheneaux, doctoral student in sexology at UQAM. In 3e year, we talk, among other things, about the influence of stereotypes on behavior; in 4e, positive and negative attributes associated with each gender; then, in 6e year, we deal with sexism, homophobia and transphobia.

“We address the issue of sexual orientation more from the 6e year, but the question of gender is addressed earlier, because it is a questioning that students will have earlier in their lives,” indicated Mme Descheneaux.

Young people show interest in LGBTQ+ issues

Should themes related to gender identity and sexual diversity be included in the school curriculum or rather left to the discretion of parents? This summer, The duty had discussed it with Dominique Lacasse, teacher and educational advisor in a secondary school at the Capital School Service Center. She has been teaching a sexuality education course for over 20 years.

During class, her students are very interested, she noted. “They are curious, they want to have information, so they listen. » Many want to understand the acronym LGBTQ+ and what androgyny is, for example.

For Julie Descheneaux, teaching these concepts is an integral part of the role of Quebec schools. “These delicate questions are part of everyday life, but also of school. Not having a program [à leur propos], it’s a bit of turning a deaf ear. »

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