In the waiting room, Marie-Eve read one of my columns1 published two days earlier, in which Élise Desaulniers recounted how she had come to donate a kidney to a stranger one fine morning.
The author and former director of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals explained what motivated her to make such an altruistic gesture. She decided to speak about it publicly not to play the hero, but to raise awareness of this type of little-known donation that saves lives.2.
Marie-Eve finished reading with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“It touched me to the core,” she told me.
She knew Élise Desaulniers by name, especially for her commitment to animal welfare. “My first instinct was: ah! Élise likes humans too!” she says, laughing.
Inspired by his gesture, the 50-year-old mother wanted to imitate him. She first spoke to her husband about it. “He said to me: hey! Have you read The PressYou ! “
Then she wrote to Elise. She asked if she could ask her questions. They met. “I went home even more convinced that this was what I wanted to do.”
She called the Centre hospitalier de l’Université de Montréal (CHUM). And that’s what she did. Like Élise, with whom she had discussed effective altruism, she chose to participate in the Canadian Paired Donation Program, which allows you to include your donation in a chain of solidarity and help save more lives.
Even though she had decided to speak in the media about non-directed kidney donation in order to demystify this act of solidarity, Élise admits to having been overwhelmed when she received Marie-Eve’s message.
“I was super happy. I thought: Oh! My God! I didn’t do it for nothing. Even if it doesn’t go all the way, it’s already extraordinary!”
A part of her, however, remained a little intimidated that Marie-Eve wanted to meet her. “I’m not that hot! I haven’t done anything special.”
She told me the first time we spoke: for her, donating a kidney, contrary to popular belief, there is nothing there. The risks associated with the operation are greater than for a vaginal birth, but no more than for a cesarean or liposuction. Two years later, she has not changed her mind. “In hindsight, I have even more the impression that there is really, really nothing there!”
Remembering how important talking to other donors had been in her journey and her thinking, Élise met Marie-Eve.
Talking with her, Élise was struck by the contrast between her daily life as a manager who manages schedules, lack of staff, lack of money and this meeting where they talked about really fundamental things: how a human can save the life of another human. Just like that…
When I donated my kidney, I felt like my life suddenly had meaning. I had served a purpose. And then I realized that it could continue by supporting other donors.
Elise Desaulniers
After meeting with a nephrologist and going through the full battery of tests required to qualify as a donor, Marie-Eve was ready to donate. Unfortunately, at the last minute, her surgery had to be postponed. Her recipient’s health condition did not allow him to undergo a transplant.
The kidney donation finally took place several months later. Even though the whole process was long and trying at times, Marie-Eve has absolutely no regrets. Having already had two cesarean deliveries, she found the experience to be similar. Yes, it comes with a few days of discomfort and a period of convalescence. But in the end, like after childbirth, it was nothing compared to the great happiness that this experience brought her.
“I learned a lot about human nature. This experience of giving had a big impact on my life. It gave me a value that only I can give myself. Most of the time, we measure ourselves by what our boss will tell us, what our children, our husband or our friends will tell us. But there, I measured myself by myself. And that’s something that no one can take away from me. It belongs to me. I keep it all my life and it’s ultra-precious.”
1. Read the column “A kidney donation, a pretty nothing”
2. Read the article by Élise Desaulniers