This text is part of the special section Professions and careers
“What are you signing up for at CEGEP? Do you know what you want to do when you grow up? » These famous questions that every teenager is asked regularly from the age of 15 can generate a lot of tension and anxiety. Career choice is a delicate subject that many parents wonder how to approach. Keywords to remember? Positivism and autonomy, according to a researcher from Laval University (ULaval) who looked into the subject.
Laying the foundation for your future when you can’t even drive or vote yet can cause a lot of stress for teens. In fact, 45% of young Quebecers say they are anxious or very anxious about their career choice, according to a survey conducted in 2022 by the firm SOM. This is therefore not an easy subject for parents to approach.
Many young people feel great pressure from their parents regarding their career choices, notes guidance counselor Mélanie Bourret in her practice.
As part of his master’s thesis in orientation sciences at ULaval, Mme Bourret carried out a study which sheds new light on the best way to approach the subject with adolescents. While most studies on the subject consist of questionnaires, the one who is also a teacher at Cégep de Sainte-Foy wanted to know how the interactions take place.
Emotional contagion
She therefore invited 42 families (made up of father-daughter, mother-daughter, father-son and mother-son duos) to come and discuss this subject at the Research Laboratory on social relations, motivation, success and perseverance in school. , at ULaval. The duos were seated alone in a room that resembled a living room, so that they felt comfortable, and the discussion, which was to be about career choice, was not directed. Everything was recorded by cameras.
“What emerged, mainly, is that parents’ emotions are linked to children’s emotions and vice versa,” explains Mme Bourret, who published the results of his study in the Journal of Vocational Behavior, last March. “There is what we call in more scientific terms ’emotional contagion’ that takes place during a discussion about career choice, and it goes both ways. »
While observing the discussions, the researcher and her team used emotion identification software, which classified them into two categories: positive (like joy) and negative (like disgust or anger). In general, positive emotions were more widespread, and parents were more supportive than controlling, rejoices Mélanie Bourret.
Support your child’s autonomy
“Generally, studies show that it is more positive for the child’s development when the parent supports their autonomy,” she adds. So, he will offer the child choices, he will explain the reasons or the steps he must follow, and recognize the feelings that the child is experiencing. »
Sometimes it can be difficult for a parent to put themselves in their teenager’s shoes. Some people tend to offer choices related to what they would like their child to do later, and not related to what the young person really wants to experience, notes the guidance counselor.
She therefore invites parents to analyze their own reaction when their child speaks to them about their aspirations. And if they feel overwhelmed by the subjects their child is discussing, the guidance counselor suggests being honest: offering to go find information on this subject or asking for help from a counselor or a guidance counselor can be a good solution.
Encourage initiative
“Experiencing negative emotions can be normal, especially when we talk about career choice, since it is a subject that is often anxiety-provoking and raises a lot of questions,” nuance Mme Bourret. On the other hand, what we know is that when young people experience positive emotions, they are more likely to take action afterwards. »
Numerous studies have shown that when children and adolescents feel positive emotions in a particular context, they become more involved: they will therefore be more inclined to gather information about a program and take concrete steps.
“The most important thing is really to welcome and support your child’s autonomy,” advises Mélanie Bourret. It’s also important to be engaged, curious, to ask questions, to want to discuss career choices with your child. And to try to bring out positive discussions, to get the child to come back to discuss them. »
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