Hosting the Holidays in the Face of Uncertainty

The end-of-year celebrations are approaching at full gallop and many households are asking questions about how to organize their family dinners. Will we still face yet another wave accompanied by its scum of restrictions? Should we still play it safe with our guests? And what if some family members or friends are reluctant or anxious about the idea of ​​a large table?

Sylvain Sarrazin
The Press

Before looking into the psychological management of the imminent organization of the Holidays, the professionals we consulted all pointed, in the preamble, in the same direction: it will be necessary first and foremost to connect with the experts virologists and epidemiologists , as well as on the Public Health instructions given when the time comes, to obtain an accurate picture of the situation.

In the meantime, we have taken the current temperature from the D^D Cécile Tremblay, microbiologist-infectiologist at the Center hospitalier de l’Université de Montréal, who points out that COVID-19 may not be the only one who wants to invite itself to the party.

“We must consider that we are at risk of being affected by three respiratory viruses: COVID-19, influenza and RSV [virus respiratoire syncytial]. It will be necessary to adopt a syndromic approach: if you have symptoms such as fever, cough, sore throat, etc., you will have to wear a mask, avoid contact, respect hand hygiene and not go to gatherings,” she says. According to the researcher, it would be more prudent to organize the celebrations in smaller groups and, above all, to protect the most vulnerable such as the elderly or immunosuppressed.

Dismiss the weather vane

Social psychology expert Roxane de la Sablonnière has a message for the government: no weather vanes this year, please. “This pivotal time of the year should really be considered by governments. We do not want to have a period of uncertainty just before, as we have had in the past, with a back and forth between the authorization to gather and its prohibition. This context of uncertainty is difficult for people to live with,” underlines the professor in the Department of Psychology at the Université de Montréal.

“Better to talk to each other now, see if efforts can be made today to avoid restrictions. The government should position itself and, ideally, should not change its mind along the way,” she argues.

avoid avoidance

While waiting to find out the menu of Christmas 2022 restrictions, guests and organizers are swimming in the mist and some are reluctant to gather together when the virus could still be lurking in the sheepfold.

For the D^r Joaquin Poundja, psychologist at the Douglas Mental Health University Institute of the CIUSSS de l’Ouest-de-l’Île-de-Montréal, the fear of the virus remains useful, as long as it remains controlled and moderate. But more anxious individuals might continue to balk even if Public Health says the lights are green; in other words, to fall into the phenomenon of avoidance.

“People with high anxiety might be tempted to avoid gatherings more, but avoidance maintains anxiety. When you avoid a source of anxiety, the brain can interpret it as: there you are, you are out of danger because you have avoided the source. This shows the brain that it is right to be anxious,” explains the psychologist.

For these particularly reluctant people, he recommends reducing this avoidance reflex gradually, even if it means getting support from a health professional. “Going from complete avoidance to going to parties, it may be too anxiety-provoking for some people,” he predicts. Here again, the solution of small groupings could better take the pill away if fears are still prevalent.

The D^r Poundja also recommends being well informed about the recommendations provided by Public Health and specialists in the field in order to obtain a realistic portrait and to stop an overestimation of the real risks – the “microscope” effect.

The psychologist is also placed from the point of view of the organizers who could come up against the reservations of their hosts. “There will not be a single recipe for the optimal way to interact with more anxious guests. Those who invite should avoid judging or criticizing them, as this increases anxiety, but on the contrary listen, dialogue, develop empathy. Support is one of the best forms of protection against stress”, he says, recalling that our solutions will have to be adapted to each particular context and guest profile.