Towards the end of her cycling career, Geneviève Jeanson was looking for a way out. She thought of an accident. Nothing to kill her, but something serious enough to pull her out of the doping trap and especially from the clutches of a trainer who, she alleges, physically and sexually assaulted her when she was minor.
Posted at 6:00 a.m.
In the end, it was a positive test for EPO in 2005 that proved the solution.
“I swear to you, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” she says 17 years later. Failing this doping test relieved me. It meant that I could finally quit cycling and quit my coach. My life was so difficult back then that it was only a small inconvenience in comparison. I was ready to have my name smeared forever rather than continue to live with it. »
Jeanson presented the powerful testimony as part of an International Testing Agency (AIT) webinar on Tuesday morning. Based in Lausanne, the ACI is an independent organization which, among other things, offers comprehensive anti-doping services to international federations, such as the International Cycling Union.
The topic of the webinar was doping and mental health. Jeanson believes that the two are often intertwined.
“As they told me [à l’ACI]the majority of people think that doping is a bit of a Lance Armstrong role model, Jeanson explained to The Press after his presentation. That you have someone in charge of the whole circle, the leader of the gang, and those are all personal decisions. It’s not always like that. There are other avenues, but nobody talks about them. They were glad to have another perspective on how an athlete can get caught up in this. »
Jeanson talks about André Aubut, the man who started coaching him in his early teens. When she was 14, he hit her for the first time on the head during a session, she says.
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, ARCHIVES LA PRESSE
André Aubut and Geneviève Jeanson in October 1999
“I was told it was to make me a tougher athlete, because the world of competition is like living in the jungle. And in the jungle, only the strong survive. I came to believe that physical abuse was normal. And that it was actually really good for you. »
“At age 15, the verbal and physical abuse progressed to sexual assault and rape, immediately followed by threats like, ‘I love you, I’m in love with you, if you leave me, I’ll kill you and commit suicide.” »
During the webinar, she said she was “never the same person again” after the first “sexual assault.”
“I built myself a thick shell so that no one could find out what had happened. And because I was experiencing violence every day, I was extremely afraid that he would kill me or commit suicide. It was real. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life with the responsibility for someone’s death on my shoulders. »
Suffering from anemia at the age of 16, the young cyclist consulted an orthopaedist, Dr.r Maurice Duquette. Rather than letting her heal naturally, he gave her EPO, a banned substance in sports that helps oxygenate the blood.
It was only supposed to be a few injections – they always say that. But once I started EPO, I never stopped.
Genevieve Jeanson
In 2009, Aubut was suspended for life by the Canadian Center for Ethics in Sport (CCES) for administering EPO to Jeanson when she was underage. The Dr Duquette received the same sanction. The ex-cyclist had received a reduced suspension of 10 years by virtue of his collaboration with CCES investigators.
It was impossible to reach Aubut on Tuesday.
No Exit
In two years, Jeanson said she went from “abuse victim to cheater, to criminal.” “At 16, I was a teenager with no way out, no one to talk to, no one to help me. »
To a listener who asked her why she hadn’t alerted her parents, she replied: “I didn’t want to scare them and I didn’t want them to take me out of the sport because it was my dream and my passion. […] They didn’t know what was going on and they only had limited contact with me because everything was handled by the coach. It was hard. I didn’t want to talk to anyone because I was ashamed. »
At 16, Jeanson left home to train in the United States. His coach took a leave of absence without pay from his job to devote all his time to her. He divorced his wife. The pressure continued to mount. “I was the one who was supposed to win to get sponsors and make money so he could live. I was the breadwinner of the family. »
Abuse has become more frequent.
Rarely was there a practice session without physical or verbal abuse.
Genevieve Jeanson
In the end, Jeanson therefore had this idea of an accident to put an end to this spiral. The positive EPO test settled the matter. Suspended for 10 years, she ended up confessing her cheating to journalist Alain Gravel, of Radio-Canada. But it took 10 years before publicly opening up about the physical and psychological violence and 5 more years before revealing the sexual assaults.
“I’d rather have my name associated with performance drugs than the assaults I had to go through. It’s very, very sad. I’m 40 now and when I think about it, I think it’s crazy. »
Jeanson spent more than 10 years in therapy to heal from his injuries. Today, she is a head coach at a training center co-owned by her husband.
“A Wonderful Life”
“I have a wonderful life and I’m happy,” she said in an interview. I am successful at work. And most importantly, I am emotionally and psychologically healthy to relate to others. »
She advocates for more education and protection against doping and abuse in sport. According to her, it is the responsibility of federations and coaches to ensure that athletes define themselves first as humans and not according to their success in sport.
In his view, the current system does not encourage whistleblowing by athletes, which perpetuates the cycle of doping.
“It’s partly because we don’t have a support system to care for athletes who would provide such troubling information. Especially if it’s an athlete who wins and is good for the popularity of the sport. We need to create an environment where an athlete would feel safe to speak. The athlete would know that they will be cared for and protected, and have the opportunity to re-enter sport if performance-enhancing drugs were involved. »
Publicly recounting his troubled journey is not easy, but Jeanson does it out of duty. After the webinar, she was “all nervous and upside down” about it being featured in The Press.
It’s completely unreasonable, but I’m still afraid that the old coach will find me and something will happen to me. He told me so many times.
Genevieve Jeanson
Jeanson was at Montreal-Trudeau airport, en route to San Diego, where she will take part in the Belgian Waffle Ride on Saturday, a 210-kilometre road and gravel race, the longest of her career.
This return to competition is above all “for fun”, but the competitor in her is never far away. “I realize that the more I train, the more I enjoy the races. It tempts me to perform better. »
Even today, Jeanson has “a little fear in his stomach” before a difficult session on his bike, the stigma of his toxic relationship with his former trainer.
“I’m really nervous and I have to talk to myself and say, ‘Geneviève, he’s not here looking over your shoulder anymore. He won’t beat you. You are in control. Do what you want and grow how you want. If your last interval is not the best, it does not matter. And it works ! »