Posted yesterday at 5:00 a.m.
When I was asked to explore the defining moments of a life with two guests, I immediately thought of Francis Reddy and Jean-Marie Lapointe. These two men have in common to cultivate a sense of benevolence. And that fascinates me.
I listen to the first on the radio and watch the documentary series of the second while receiving similar charges of kindness, tolerance and generosity. But as a good journalist, I still wanted to know if these positive radiations were true or exaggerated.
Was I in front of what is called in the artistic world “false purposes”? People around them have confirmed it to me: Francis and Jean-Marie are in life exactly what they reflect in the prism of the media.
To understand what influenced their journey, I brought them together on the terrace of a café. As soon as the trio was formed, the sun made a turn on itself. Taken in isolation, these two guys are moving air. Imagine when you have them both in front of you.
After a minute, I discovered that my idea of bringing them together was not far-fetched, because Francis and Jean-Marie are longtime friends. It goes back to the Alex group (which those under 20 cannot know). This group from the early 1980s brought together Jean-Marie Lapointe and Frédéric Reddy, Francis’ brother.
“As we were finalists in the Empire of Future Stars competition, we had a record contract with Isba, says Jean-Marie. They had just signed with Mitsou. I can tell you that we passed in the butter. Later, there was the hugely popular show Rooms in town who contributed to making these two actors known to the general public.
It was at this time that Jean-Marie met Francis’ father and his legendary kindness. It was enough for us to wonder about the origins of benevolence. Do we carry this in us from birth? Do we become so as a result of experiences? Do we receive this as an inheritance?
“My father had such benevolence that he had trouble accepting it,” says Francis Reddy. Of course I got something out of that. »
He vividly remembers a conversation he had with his father one evening.
He sold packaging and he was a bad salesman. When he came home late from work, he ate alone. Once I asked him if he had a contract. I got a dense look. He said to me: “That’s not important. The important thing is that I met a nice guy. “It came to confront me. Then I looked at my father differently. When my friends tell me about him, they tell me that in his company, they felt important.
Francis Reddy
Jean-Marie Lapointe totally agrees with that. “He was so sweet. He would take me to his garden to eat his cucumbers and we would talk. It was through gestures like that that he created encounters. »
The son of Jean Lapointe also believes that benevolence can come first from the parents. “My father and my mother drank. They are not alcoholics in their true nature. They are loving and caring human beings who have had a disability or an addictive disease. »
It was through the gestures that his father led him to do for La Maison Jean Lapointe that the young Jean-Marie discovered the benefits of giving of oneself. “There was also my aunt Cécile who was a nun. She was a real Mother Teresa. »
Cultivate benevolence
Of course, there are the parents and the environment in which we grow up. But Francis Reddy and Jean-Marie Lapointe remain convinced that it is the experiences of life that bring out the benevolence that lies at the bottom of every human being. “I sincerely believe that everyone carries that with them,” Francis said. It can’t be that you leave in life without this asset and that it will never be born. »
Jean-Marie adds by recounting the time when, when he was a young boarder, the teacher asked him to share his lunch with a friend who had nothing to eat. “My first instinct was to say no, because I was hungry. It was followed by a sentence. There was then a switch. I shared my sandwich with this boy. The joy I felt at that moment is indescribable. »
And here he is, embarking on a fascinating explanation of the physiological effects of benevolence. “Doing this kind of gesture triggers serotonin, the hormone of happiness. We are all three on this terrace. Let’s imagine that there is a homeless person begging. A guy stops by and gives her a muffin or some money. This guy is going to get a shot of serotonin. And we who watch this scene too. »
Living in the moment
The problems of addiction and eating disorders experienced by Jean-Marie Lapointe are now at the service of the causes he defends. “My ability to feel the suffering of others is also my own ability to feel myself, to give meaning to my suffering, to my ordeals. You don’t volunteer to heal. It should not be done for that purpose. It happens all by itself. I am not the suffering of the other, but I am able to feel it. »
Francis Reddy, who is used to being often late, insists on the importance of savoring the present moment. “Benevolence gives me the feeling of really being with the other. When I’m with someone, I’m really with that person. When I arrive in front of a lake, the hyperactive that I am disappears. I bite in this moment. »
Jean-Marie Lapointe, who has participated in several documentaries that address social issues, is also a spokesperson for various causes, including the Défi sportif AlterGo, for people with disabilities or limitations. And as if that weren’t enough, he regularly volunteers at the Welcome Hall Mission and the Maison du Père.
As for Francis Reddy, he was for many years one of the pillars of the Opération Enfant Soleil telethon with Marie-Soleil Tougas, then with Patricia Paquin.
These universes make them see sometimes difficult things.
“I was a little boy with fragile health,” says Jean-Marie.
I was often hospitalized. I remember the look of pity my parents gave me and I hated it because I felt like I was worrying them. When I started doing palliative care support, I decided that I wouldn’t have that look. You do not accompany death, you accompany life. Your role is to bring out the lives of these people.
Jean Marie Lapointe
Francis Reddy once made the decision to stop doing the telethon because it was taking up so much of his life at the expense of his family members. “It had happened that I was scrutinizing pediatric budgets in hospitals. When you realize that 39% of a pediatric budget comes from the telethon, you think that’s pathetic. The famous “Quebec madly in love with its children” is a piece of shit. You have to do a telethon to offer a jaundice blanket to a child in a hospital in La Tuque. »
During his years as host of the telethon, Francis Reddy met countless numbers of sick youngsters. He had to learn to protect himself. “I kept telling myself that it wasn’t happening to me. I preferred to save my energy to listen. »
Benevolence and spirituality
Does benevolence necessarily involve some form of spirituality? The question strongly concerns Jean-Marie Lapointe and Francis Reddy. “It’s not necessary,” replies the first. Except that when we begin to analyze benevolence, we realize that we find in it kindness, generosity and other values that embody spirituality. »
Several years ago, Jean-Marie Lapointe turned to Buddhism, a religion that perfectly suits his values. “I think you have to be humble in your approach,” he says. I don’t have to wear a robe or signs. I have nothing to sell. This approach concerns only me. People who listen carefully to my words, however, will discover the Buddhist in me. Did it hurt me to say that? Maybe, but that’s secondary to me. »
Francis Reddy finds the view that some people are currently taking on religions difficult. “I remember a Muslim financial advisor at Desjardins to whom I said that people’s judgment was sometimes harsh. She had tears in her eyes. She explained to me that she had been trying to find her place in the workplace for 15 years and that all of that could suddenly disappear. What matters is that everyone can feel good about who they are. »
The actor and host insists on an aspect of life that he has always found important: rituals.
I love these moments of gathering or these events that mark time. I’m sorry to drop that.
Francis Reddy
I couldn’t leave them without asking them if, sometimes, they were tired of being perceived as eternally benevolent. “What can be heavy is the pejorative sense of kindness,” says Francis. Sometimes it tires me that people say I’m nice, because I feel like that’s all I am. I can also be angry and have all kinds of feelings. »
Jean-Marie then uses this sentence from a man he loved very much, Guy Corneau: “When we put words to the evils, the said evils become spoken words and cease to be cursed. »
I left these two guys and walked for a long time in the streets of Montreal. This discussion did me a lot of good. Ah! and then, as well tell you: I wanted to meet Francis Reddy and Jean-Marie Lapointe first for me. But as I try to cultivate benevolence, I also did it for you.
The seasons of Francisback in the fall on Ici Musique