For radical well-being | End the tyranny of success

The holidays are fast approaching and your tongue is on edge? You are definitely not alone. So before thinking about others, perhaps it is high time to think about yourself. And we’re not talking about taking a bath or sipping a glass of wine. What if we finally dared to make frank changes, starting with our relationship to work, to success, but especially to failure?




Chasing your tail, aiming for excellence, in search of frank recognition, does that mean anything to you? A researcher suggests putting an end to this breathless refrain, not nearly. Instead of aiming for success, he suggests rehabilitating… failure.

A bold proposal, which comes to us here from Florian Grandena, professor in the communications department at the University of Ottawa, to whom we owe the collective with its intriguing title: Failures and Vomiting – Reflections on Failure as a Way of Life and Philosophyco-directed with Éric Mathieu (with whom Kevin Lambert notably collaborated), published earlier this fall.

A reflection that is timely in this era of inflation, cutbacks, bankruptcies and other layoffs that continue to multiply. Stung by his words, we contacted the researcher and author to find out more.

“When we define success in neoliberal terms, we can only be disappointed,” he explains in an interview. This is not reasonable for anyone! »

Neither “reasonable” nor frankly livable, we understand, since said success here is intended to be “total”, “immediate” and “extreme”, downright “stunning”. Now, who really experiences such a “total” thing?

It’s a definition [du succès] which I find quite perverse. People who experience tremendous success will generally experience equally overwhelming failure…

Florian Grandena, professor in the communications department at the University of Ottawa

Do these comments shock you? You should know that Florian Grandena is not alone, these days, in questioning this “tyranny of success” and the great fatigue that results from it. Just think of Bianca Gervais, who wrote a rich reflection on our collective exhaustion earlier this fall, in Punctured, a documentary broadcast on Tou.Tv Extra; or to Amelia and Emily Nagoski, two sisters and researchers who proposed a scientific (and feminist) variation on the same theme with Burned (the expected translation of Burnout) ; without forgetting the psychoeducator Stéphanie Deslauriers, whose title of the latest work says it all: You deserve better than a bubble bath. No doubt, if we really want to experience less pressure on a daily basis, less fatigue in general, socially speaking, the necessary changes go far beyond bubbles or scented candles.

Normalize failure

What to do, then? “There is no magic recipe,” Florian Grandena explains here, “but for me, personally, viewing failure in a positive way is very important. » Easier said than done, he agrees. If the exercise is disruptive, it is also more philosophical than practical. Above all, it has the merit of opening the discourse to new perspectives, starting with a normalization of experience.

PHOTO CREDIT ÉLISE GLÜCK, PROVIDED BY FLORIAN GRANDENA

“Failure is a completely normal experience!” », Defends Florian Grandena, professor in the communications department at the University of Ottawa.

Failure is a completely normal experience! In learning, we don’t go from point A to point B, we go through Z too!

Florian Grandena, professor in the communications department at the University of Ottawa

After a few detours via D or Y, might we add.

In other words, it is completely normal to not complete a task perfectly, as desired or requested, and it is not necessarily a failure, he argues. Whether it’s writing, cooking or sports, whatever the field, let’s ask the question: “Why can’t we succeed?” Maybe the material conditions weren’t met, maybe it was the mental conditions? Or maybe we just aren’t capable yet? »

Note that not only is this normal, but also “it is part of learning a profession, or learning a relationship,” he insists. It’s part of learning about life! And it’s absolutely essential! »

Change your outlook

Are you disappointed? Are you feeling frustrated? Angry ? Just like failure, Florian Grandena underlines the importance of rehabilitating these so-called “negative” emotions here.

Why would we repress anger? It is a completely human and rational emotion. These are inevitable emotions in a person’s life, we must face them. They make who we are: sentient beings!

Florian Grandena, professor in the communications department at the University of Ottawa

All this is very philosophical, our interlocutor concedes, but no less essential. Because by revisiting failure, we revisit success at the same time. The author dares here to make a very personal confidence. For a long time, he says, he hoped for recognition from his community, particularly from his employer. “But maybe this success was not the right thing to expect,” he confides. For me, success is not having my dean call me three times a day. For me, now, success is when I am satisfied with myself because I teach a good course or I write a good book or… I do a good interview with a journalist. »

If we could realign our expectations in this way, modify our perspectives and set certain records straight, we would undoubtedly all be more “at peace with ourselves”, he believes, downright “happy”.

“When we recognize that failure is an integral part of creation […], when we understand that this is part of the process, we will no longer get stuck, because we know that it will lead us elsewhere. So we live with less anxiety, less stress and fewer pseudo-negative emotions. […] Failure is taboo, he concludes. Yes, it hurts a lot not to succeed, but… that’s how it is! […] It is part of our human experience. »

Failure and Vomiting – Reflections on Failure as a Way of Life and Philosophy

Failure and Vomiting – Reflections on Failure as a Way of Life and Philosophy

All in all

224 pages


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