Becoming a father is often synonymous with joy, even if it comes with its own set of challenges. But when you become a parent of a child with a disability, these challenges can quickly become mountains that seem insurmountable. More than one in six fathers with a child with special needs experiences high psychological distress, and one in nine has even seriously considered suicide in the last year.
This is revealed by a new Quebec study published Thursday by the Regroupement pour la valorization de la paternité (RVP). Last June, the organization had already unveiled in a larger portrait that psychological distress affected nearly one in seven fathers in Quebec.
In this case, data from the previous survey conducted in March 2022 was reused to focus only on the experience of 907 fathers of children with one or more disabilities, such as physical disabilities, chronic health condition, global developmental delay or attention deficit disorder. A research subject that is still very little exploited, points out Carl Lacharité, the scientific director of the study, whose results will be presented at the RVP Su-Père Conference, which takes place on Thursday and Friday.
No data
“Research is mostly focused on what mothers can experience [lorsqu’elles ont un enfant avec un handicap], there is little research that focuses on fathers, so we imagine that they are not really affected by this. But when you start scratching, you realize that they inevitably face psychological difficulties,” explains Carl Lacharité, also professor of psychology at the University of Quebec at Trois-Rivières.
The proof is with this study. Compared to fathers in general, those raising a child with one or more special needs therefore face greater psychological distress, but also have a lower resilience index (+29%), lack more confidence, particularly in their role parents (+57%), and have a more complicated co-parenting relationship.
“Question after question, we have differences of 30-40-50%” compared to the study on all the fathers, underlines the director of the RVP, Raymond Villeneuve.
Social isolation is also more pronounced among these fathers. An overwhelming majority say they have very little or no support from those around them (66% rarely or never receive help from their family, 71% in the case of in-laws). “The support network is not very present, although it is an important factor of resilience. These data tell me that the daily life of these fathers is not possible,” adds Mr. Villeneuve.
Few services
What particularly catches the attention of Professor Carl Lacharité, “is the accumulation of types of vulnerability: lack of self-confidence; lack of landmarks; isolated from his surroundings; can’t find services…” Despite the addition of all these weaknesses, men are not the ones who most easily ask for help, recalls Professor Lacharité.
According to the survey, 21% of them say they have consulted a resource or a psychosocial worker in the last 12 months, which is more than fathers in general (14%). However, few services are specifically devoted to them.
“When it comes to family services, fathers are often very much on the periphery of the attention of these services,” explains Carl Lacharité. The survey provides grist for the mill to better understand how we can support fathers. »
The Regroupement pour la valorization de la paternité also works with other organizations supporting families with disabled children so that they adapt their practices to “paternal realities”.
According to Mr. Lacharité, one of the possible solutions lies in language: “parenthood is not equivalent only to the mother, but also to the father, to co-parenting”.
A rebalancing that could benefit everyone, abounds Raymond Villeneuve. “If we don’t pay particular attention to the reality of fathers, then the mother picks herself up with more responsibilities, she reduces her mistakes at work, etc. During this time, the father will overwork. This leads to economic disparity, an ill-distributed mental load and tensions in the couple. »