First names often come with a variety of nicknames that reflect our relationships and roles in different contexts. Affectionate nicknames strengthen emotional bonds among loved ones, while sobriquets can serve to belittle or highlight flaws. Psychologist Christophe André emphasizes the importance of understanding the distinction between these terms and their intended use, noting that affectionate nicknames should be reserved for close relationships. Care must be taken when assigning nicknames, as they can impact self-esteem and interpersonal dynamics.
We all possess a first name, but many of us also carry a collection of nicknames that shift depending on our relationships, age, and surroundings. These nicknames can be endearing, signify our social roles, or even highlight certain flaws; nevertheless, they all reflect how we are viewed by others. Numerous psychology experts have delved into the origins of these nicknames and their effects on our personalities.
Understanding Nicknames vs. Sobriquets
The key distinction between a nickname and a sobriquet lies in their underlying intent. Nicknames are often affectionate, shared among close friends and family members. They serve to strengthen emotional ties, as partners might refer to each other with loving terms like ‘my dear,’ ‘sweetheart,’ or ‘darling,’ reminiscent of the dynamics seen in the show *A Guy, A Girl*. Additionally, family dynamics often produce nicknames across generations: grandpa/granny, mom/dad, uncle/aunt, brother/sister. Children frequently adopt nicknames inspired by pet names like ‘my chick’ or ‘my bunny,’ and diminutives derived from their first names are common, such as ‘Titi’ for Thibaut, ‘Vava’ for Valérie, or ‘Coco’ for Colette. According to psychiatrist Christophe André, there’s even a term for these affectionate creations—hypocoristic, from the Greek word meaning ‘caressing.’
In contrast, sobriquets lack the warmth associated with nicknames. They often carry a negative connotation, highlighting a physical attribute or personality trait in a disparaging way. For instance, the term ‘Bouboule’ may refer to someone who is overweight, while ‘Coconne’ depicts a naive administrative assistant in the works of Zoé Shepard, illustrating how sobriquets can be used to belittle rather than endear.
The Purpose Behind Nicknames and Sobriquets
Affectionate nicknames are typically bestowed to express fondness and strengthen emotional connections. Christophe André notes that these terms are often reserved for tender moments and are not used during conflicts, where the use of a first name can create emotional distance. Family nicknames help clarify a person’s role within the familial structure and can change based on who is addressing them—someone might be called Grandpa, Dad, Uncle, Darling, or My Bunny, depending on the relationship.
On the flip side, pejorative sobriquets serve to diminish a person’s worth, intentionally or unintentionally creating a sense of superiority in the person using the label. This can manifest in various contexts, such as highlighting athletic prowess, intelligence, or productivity.
Careful Consideration When Bestowing Nicknames
Christophe André shares an anecdote about a moment of family embarrassment linked to the inappropriate use of an affectionate nickname. The grandfather believed that ‘Grandpa’ should only be used by his grandchildren, and the son-in-law’s use of it in a restaurant setting was seen as crossing a line. This illustrates an unspoken rule: nicknames are meant for those we share a close bond with. It is essential to think twice before assigning a nickname, as doing so without the necessary familiarity can feel out of place.
Even well-intentioned affectionate nicknames can become burdensome or place individuals in uncomfortable situations. R. Scott Gornto, a psychotherapist cited by Marie Claire, points out that some nicknames can strip away the dignity, love, and respect that every individual deserves. For example, a new secretary in a company may find the nickname ‘My Little One’ to be both affectionate and infantilizing. Similarly, someone labeled with a derogatory sobriquet like ‘Bouboule’ may experience lasting harm to their self-esteem, particularly if the label is frequently repeated.