Anne Gesthuysen shares insights from her GALA interview, discussing her parenting dynamics with husband Frank. While she identifies as a protective “helicopter mom,” Frank takes a more relaxed approach. Their differing styles extend to grocery shopping and meal significance, where Frank’s passion for food contrasts with Anne’s practical view. The couple navigates disagreements over time spent together, with their son often acting as a peacemaker. Despite occasional frustrations, Frank’s caring nature and their mutual support strengthen their bond.
Insights from Anne Gesthuysen’s GALA Interview
What was your husband’s reaction back then?
He was shocked, exclaiming: ‘How could you put our child in that kind of danger?’ I personally didn’t feel like I was taking any risks; in fact, I consider myself a bit of a helicopter mom.
A helicopter mom, you?
I tend to see potential dangers everywhere. I remember a time when our son was just a crawling baby, and we were at a hotel with a couple of small steps—only 15 cm high. It seemed harmless, yet I couldn’t shake the worst-case scenarios from my mind. Frank, on the other hand, is much more laid-back.
How does your husband support you in parenting?
He contributes immensely, but in his own way: I walk the dog at 8 AM, while Frank takes his turn at 11 AM. This pattern extended to our son too; there were days he didn’t eat lunch until 4 PM! Frank would often say: ‘Don’t eat too much; dinner is coming up soon.’ I’m learning to accept that he has his own approach, and ultimately, everything turns out just fine. The important thing is everyone is healthy, even if our dog has shed a few pounds after I finish writing each book.
And what about grocery shopping?
It works out, but with a different style: I typically shop on Mondays or Tuesdays for the entire week, while my husband prefers to decide on dinner each night and shops accordingly, crafting elaborate meals like his mother’s roulades. This results in a full fridge initially, but it quickly turns into an empty one afterward.
What significance do meals hold for your family?
For Frank, they are crucial. He enjoys discussing food, while I eat purely out of hunger. Coming from a farming background, I have a different perspective. Frank often jokes that he fell for me the moment he saw how passionately I devoured a steak.
Anne Gesthuysen: ‘Frank has a softer side, while I tend to be oblivious’
You’ve been married for 17 years. How do you express your love?
Frank frequently calls me, even during my readings. He’ll check in, asking if everyone is treating me well. He also surprises me with flowers. I must admit, I often forget about them for days, but he’s gracious enough not to mention it. He possesses a gentle side, whereas I can be a bit clueless.
Do you ever express your feelings to him?
Absolutely. We often embrace and share our gratitude for having one another; those moments hold significant weight for both of us.
Do you schedule couple time?
When our schedules permit, we enjoy a weekend getaway in Rome or a trip through the Champagne region.
What do you argue about?
Most of our disagreements revolve around the time we spend together. I need space for my writing, hobbies, and friendships, while Frank doesn’t appreciate feeling like he has to compete for every moment. We’ve come to a better understanding now, but in the early days, we often clashed and debated loudly.
What were those arguments about?
They were often about how we wanted to build our lives together, who would take on which responsibilities, and how much individual time we could each have for ourselves and our careers. Frank’s job had set hours, while he struggled to understand my late-night commitments to ‘ARD-Morgenmagazin.’ He found it unfair to care for our son alone at night, while I felt it was unjust for him to dictate my priorities.
Your son as the peacemaker
How did your son respond during these arguments?
As soon as he was able to talk, he attempted to mediate between us. We reassured him that our disagreements were not a sign of separation, but rather a way for us to stay together.
Speaking of your son, does your husband participate in caregiving?
Definitely. He handled diaper changes frequently and took care of putting our son to sleep. Interestingly, while Frank initially adhered to traditional gender roles in our discussions, his actions have shown him to be quite progressive.
What quirks drive you crazy about Frank?
Frank loves to cook, but he leaves the kitchen in complete disarray afterward—he insists on having a specific knife for every little task. When he claims to have cleaned up, I still find remnants of his cooking spree everywhere. It drives me mad, but I smile and say, ‘Great job cleaning,’ while I secretly tidy up after him.