Domestic violence | “Going to file a complaint, that was the toughest part”

#MeToo, Dis Son Nom, # AggressionNonDeclared: the waves of denunciation of sexual assault prompted victims to report their assailant. But even today, filing a complaint with the authorities is difficult. A situation confronted by Audrey *, who claimed to have been received with incomprehension and contempt at a station of the Police Department of the City of Montreal (SPVM).

Audrey separated from her abusive partner in June. His nightmare was not over yet. Calls, texts, emails: the man who controlled her allegedly harassed her after their breakup. She went to the police station in her neighborhood to file a complaint, accompanied by a friend.

Following her testimony, Audrey’s ex-spouse was charged with harassing communications.

In January 2020, he was charged with assault or causing bodily harm by suffocation and forcible confinement. He had also been charged with breach of conditions on two separate occasions while on parole. He was not to communicate with his ex-wife or be within 200 meters of her.

“Of all that I told you, going to lodge a complaint, it was the toughest ”Said Audrey.

Press met the woman in a café in the Hochelaga-Maisonneuve sector. She shared her story alongside her friend Laurie *, who accompanied her to file a complaint against her ex-spouse.

The two women claim to have been received inadequately by the agent at the reception of the SPVM building on the morning of June 28. “Have you changed your phone number? “And” Have you considered moving? Were among the first questions the police asked them.

“It was contempt, really, you could see it in her face,” said Laurie, deeply affected by the event. She loved what we had to say. ”

10 months of “heads or tails”

Audrey met her ex-partner in August 2020. “It clicks” from the start, she says. But his happiness is short-lived.

After a month, her ex-partner would have started criticizing her about her weight, watching what she eats and forcing her to train. At the end of their 10-month relationship, Audrey lost 40 pounds, she says.

“In the end, I had to weigh myself in front of him every morning,” she said. Her partner then allegedly began to isolate Audrey from those around her.

He allegedly shouted insults at her for hours and sent her numerous derogatory voicemails. It would have happened to him to throw objects during his outbursts of anger. Audrey’s ex-partner was also pressuring her to have sex, she said.

Several times she tried to leave him. But “he was becoming the guy I had met in August again,” Audrey said.

In the end, the days when her ex was adequate weren’t worth it anymore. “I felt like I was playing a game heads or tails. Which of the two am I going to have today? She explained.

On June 6, Audrey left her husband’s house. However, he allegedly inundated her with emails, texts and voicemail messages, despite her repeated requests not to speak to her again. He would have created new accounts and contacted his friends.

On June 12, Audrey presented herself to the police station for the first time in order to “see her options”, in the face of the incessant harassment. She was well received, but she left without making a complaint.

One email too many led her to return to the police station with Laurie.

An intervention deemed inadequate

The policewoman “started to believe us when I told her to look in her file,” said Audrey. In the criminal record of her ex-spouse.

Audrey made the policewoman listen to a voicemail message sent by her ex-spouse. She made it heard to The Press.

“When you were kidding me, and you started telling me you got on my nerves. […] No, I’m sorry, but I think I would have hit you if I had had you ahead of me. I don’t think you realize how much you make me cringe An angry man’s voice said.

Then the policewoman “changed her mind. But it was no more adequate, ”said Audrey. “I think what struck me the most too was the kind of silent complicity of her partner who was right next door,” she added.

“Well let’s see that you stayed in there”, “I don’t know how you did it”, the policewoman would have said, explained Laurie.

Audrey said without hesitation that without Laurie’s support, she would not have stayed to complete the procedure at the police station. The two women stayed there for four hours.

“I am thinking of someone who may have come half an hour before me, then who consecrated his camp without making his complaint,” thought the woman.

“Anyone who feels wronged in their interactions with the SPVM can file a complaint. There are several mechanisms for doing this. Complaints must be filed with official bodies so that the process can take its course, ”SPVM spokesperson Anick de Repentigny responded by email.

“Service to citizens is a priority for the SPVM, which aims for professionalism and respect in the treatment of all situations of domestic violence that are reported to it,” she added.

The director of the Federation of women’s shelters (FMHF), Manon Monastesse, has trouble understanding the way Audrey says she was received, since the SPVM has “a whole protocol of intervention” in matters of domestic violence.

“Police intervention in domestic violence in Quebec is currently variable. It depends on the organization and the will of the police service, ”she said. Despite everything, a good proportion of women have a “rather positive” experience with the police, according to Mr.^me Monastess.

For the director of the FMHF, everything comes down to the education of police officers. “Like the SPVM, there are thousands of police officers to train, there is a lot of turnover, so it takes ongoing training,” she said.

Understanding the needs of the victim

Audrey and Laurie hope above all for a better education of the police. They also invite violent men to seek help.

Quebec Minister of Justice Simon Jolin-Barrette tabled a bill on September 15 concerning the establishment of a specialized tribunal in relation to sexual violence and domestic violence. A measure that could help provide a better experience for victims in the justice system, according to the director general of the legal clinic Juripop, Sophie Gagnon.

“When we speak of a specialized court […], we are referring rather to a set of measures which have in common the fact of being oriented around the needs of the victim ”, explains M^me Gagnon.

“For it to work, it takes actors who are trained in the social realities of sexual violence and domestic violence,” she adds. These people include, in particular, judges and police officers.

* Fictitious names