Documentary | To end inequalities in bed (and in life)

Imagine a world where men would systematically receive lobster at the restaurant, while women would be satisfied with vulgar stale crumbs. Quite simply, without flinching. Scandal? Shameful injustice? It’s kind of what happens in your bed, ladies…

Silvia Galipeau
The Press

This is among other things revealed by a new documentary, The Principles of Pleasure, which has been streaming on Netflix for a week. Archi-pedagogical and nevertheless playful, narrated in its original version by humorist and host Michelle Buteau (who goes there with several well-placed arrows), the miniseries aims here at three things: to inform, to demystify and, ultimately, to democratize the female pleasure. Images and formulas (of heterosexual lobsters) shock as a bonus. “Because you deserve it”, we are told all along. It gives you an idea of ​​the tone. And intentions.

With a steady pace, punctuated by a host of varied (and diversified: non-binarity and transsexuality welcome) testimonies, the series casts a wide net, supporting studies, visual explanations and scientific analyses.

Potentially “revolutionary” content for women, nothing less, even ruled the daily The Guardian.

In three hours and as many episodes, all subjects relating to female sexuality are covered: from the anatomy of women (and the great mystery, the inaccuracies and other myths that have surrounded it for 2000 years, the clitoris having never been mapped in its entirety only in 2005, did you know?) to relationships (because if pleasure is certainly available solo, it is also combined with others) through our hormones (for which, whatever we say, we do not have exclusivity!). All precisely divided into three themes: our bodies, our heads, our relationships.

Des mythes démystifiés

On retrouve ici tous les grands noms en matière de sexualité féminine, tous sujets confondus : Emily Nagoski (sexologue et autrice de la bible du plaisir Come as You Are), Nicole Prause (neuroscientifique, diplômée de l’Institut Kinsey), Erika Lust (réalisatrice de porno féministe) et une foule de scientifiques, chercheuses et autres expertes, qui participent toutes, et à leur manière, à démystifier bon nombre de mythes. Assez tenaces merci.

Entre autres : non, il n’y aucun lien entre virginité et hymen, et le point G (ou autre « bouton magique ») n’existe pas. Par contre, la dissonance sexuelle, si (désir, réaction génitale et plaisir étant trois choses distinctes). Et le « fossé orgasmique » aussi. Pour en revenir à l’image évoquée plus haut (parce qu’il n’y a évidemment pas de homard dans votre lit !), c’est à Lori Brotto, directrice générale de l’Institut de recherche en santé des femmes de la Colombie-Britannique, que l’on doit l’une des citations les plus troublantes de la série documentaire, dans le premier épisode : « Les inégalités en matière d’orgasme sont plus importantes que les inégalités en matière de salaire », déclare-t-elle. Et la narratrice de renchérir :

Une question de taille, quand on sait que les effets du plaisir ne se limitent pas à la sexualité en particulier, mais s’étendent au bien-être et à la santé des femmes, en général.

Les femmes invitées à voir et à commenter la série pour nous sont unanimes. Bien vulgarisée, fondée sur la science, inclusive et engageante, Les principes du plaisir frappe dans le mille. « C’est à voir absolument, confirme Léa Séguin, chercheuse en sexologie et collaboratrice au Club Sexu. Ce sont des connaissances que tout le monde devrait avoir. » Tout le monde : les femmes (pour mieux se connaître), les hommes (pour mieux les comprendre) et tous leurs partenaires inclus.

« Dans les relations hétérosexuelles, ce sont les femmes qui perdent, confirme-t-elle. Alors pour régler ça, il faut que les partenaires […] be better informed. The statistics behind this famous “orgasm gap” are indeed crystal clear: 95% of straight men have orgasms consistently, compared to 66% of straight women (and, worth noting, 86% of lesbians!).

What to remember? “The major social representations of sexuality are generally not good, not everyone likes sexuality in the same way, penetration is not for everyone, and desire is fluid depending on the context”, sums up the researcher.

Basic information

Same enthusiasm on the part of sexologist Renée Lanctôt (DrSexology.com), sexologist and coach sex in Vancouver. “I loved this series,” she said. It is fabulous. […] A good general overview is provided. […] If you go to see a sex therapist, that’s basically what you’ll be told. »

In seeking to normalize female sexuality, the documentary pursues a mission that she shares. “We need to talk about it more, normalize the subject of sexuality, so that it is less taboo, so that there are fewer myths, less abuse, and more pleasure on all levels. »

In the fall, actress Roxane Gaudette Loiseau co-authored a book on female masturbation (Little manifesto of female masturbation). “It’s almost the documentary that we could have made on our book! “, she reacts, underlining the important questions addressed here. In particular: the role of patriarchal institutions, the notion of consent, and this eternal discomfort with the body.

What does she take away? “The importance of respecting yourself, respecting your needs, or the absence of needs, feeling free to explore, and being equipped. According to her, the series represents an “essential” basic tool. “Unfortunately, we are still there. »

There again, not far from square one: this is precisely what author and actress Sarah-Maude Beauchesne deplores, who has long been interested in female pleasure. She shared the series on her social networks from the minute it was released last week.

“It’s one of the least discussed topics among couples in all romantic and sexual dynamics, and it’s a very, very understudied topic! […] And that is very unfair! […] It’s frustrating ! […] We are in 2022 and we are starting to realize that we have to talk about it! I have a lot of frustration about that. Women suffer a lot from not knowing their bodies. Me, I had no, no, no sex education, ever. I’m 32 and feel like I’ve wasted years not knowing my body. […] It’s 2022, and this is the first time I’ve been told about this in a documentary on a mainstream platform! »

The Principles of Pleasureavailable on Netflix