What happens to children who live with a mentally ill parent? Not much, points out the documentary series The invisible children. Hosted by Varda Étienne, the show lifts the veil on the reality of these forgotten people who suffer in the blind spot of the health system.
Posted at 8:00 a.m.
The interview draws to a close when Varda Étienne’s voice is choked with sobs. “We should love our children more and put them first,” articulates the facilitator, upset. She says this while thinking back to certain testimonies she has collected, imagining the suffering, fear and insecurity experienced by these children whose distress can go under the radar when it is urgent to manage an adult in crisis.
Varda Étienne is not interested in the children of people living with a mental health disorder by chance. The idea has been in her mind for 10 years because she is directly concerned: the host, author and businesswoman has been diagnosed with bipolarity since the age of 14. And three children who witnessed and suffered varying degrees of his seizures.
“My eldest son is 29 years old. I’ve been feeling guilty for 29 years. I’ve thought I’m not a good mother for 29 years,” she says. The impact of her illness on her children, she saw it in particular through their anxiety and in the feeling of abandonment felt by her eldest. The three – Alexis, Dahlia and Sacha – tell on screen what they have been through… and all the love they have for their mother.
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Alexis, Dahlia and Sacha, the three children of Varda Étienne
They are not the only ones. “A lot of people, a lot of children of different ages wanted to testify, assures Varda Étienne. For legalities and all that, the people testifying are all adults, but there were teenagers who wanted to testify as well. »
That the experiences of Mathieu Caron or comedian François Bellefeuille date back several decades does not change much in the portrait, according to the host. Children who live with a parent with mental illness are still in the blind spot of society and the health care system. ” There is nothing. Nothing from home, ”she insists.
Series The invisible children talks about the taboo of mental illness, of course. It also brings to light the heartbreaking feelings felt by the children: the unconditional love for their parent… and the intimate conviction that things are not going well.
Often, without anything or anyone being there to help them understand what is happening.
The testimony of Mathieu Caron, who was raised alone by a schizophrenic mother, is particularly disturbing. At 8, he had been given the responsibility of making sure his mother took her medication… At 9, he learned at school, in a particularly brutal way, that she had committed suicide.
Varda Étienne believes – “very humbly”, she specifies – that she has done a service to these adults by giving them the opportunity to name things that have been repressed for a long time. Its objective, however, is broader, of course: to show this reality so that it is no longer ignored and to make things happen. Ensure in particular that when a call is made because a parent is in crisis, the child will also be taken care of, reassured, accompanied. Especially if he grows up in a single parent family.
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Varda Etienne
During his interview with The Press, Varda Étienne said she was both discouraged and optimistic about the way in which Quebec society approaches mental health problems. Resources are still lacking, but the taboo is less. She hopes very much that someone in the government will see the series and say to themselves: “The hour is serious, what do we do? »
The four episodes of the series The invisible children will be posted on Tuesday in the Vero.tv section of ICI Tou.tv Extra