Distance from adults, the real reason for school absenteeism

Ten percent of children and adolescents do not attend school at all, or do so only part-time. This is an emerging disaster, nothing more, nothing less, as it is likely to increase in the years to come. The phenomenon seems here to stay.

We must recognize that we are far from the welcoming and protective school that we knew in the past. School is now a hostile place for many young people. Whether it is because of systemic intimidation, the change in values ​​given to education or even fed up with a society where it is increasingly difficult to live, all reasons are good to drop out. .

We’re talking about blatant psychological distress, severe anxiety and also, unfortunately, a form of new-fashion I-don’t-care. We have the impression that the search for explanations and solutions to this problem of absenteeism does not take into account the deeper feelings of young people. Shouldn’t these same young people be consulted as a priority before getting lost in all sorts of more or less valid hypotheses?

All the causes put forward to explain the phenomenon are possible and the disengagement of young people from school is beyond doubt, and that is what is most worrying. Certainly, the environment is to be feared, because it causes certain students to flee. We are hearing more and more stories of atrocities in some schools, children are being killed, metaphorically speaking, wantonly, violence is common and the joy of learning is being lost.

Young people also suffer from limited and changing staff as well as a lack of mutual trust. School is less and less a place of supervision and mentoring. Its appeal is certainly not there.

Existential void

We recognize that the pandemic and strikes have kept young people away from their schools for a prolonged period and that the main message they have understood is that education is not necessarily a priority for decision-makers and adults in the community. their entourage. Experts also blame toxic screens, which often take up all the space to fill a worrying existential void.

When I ask young people what they do with their days or even their months of absence, the answer is often that they go to bed late at night or early in the morning and that their main activity, which they accomplish on time almost full is being in front of their screens. When I ask them to describe their ambitions for their future, well, they don’t have any. We are in total despair. For them, screens replace the teacher as much as friends or their future.

Is there another explanation that would allow us to better understand this slump? What currently seems most determining to me is the distance between adults and young people. Adults — and not just parents — are significantly less involved, less committed and less motivated to ensure academic success and the success of children in general. This disengagement from significant others directly produces in young people a loss of reference points and life balance, causing inertia and passivity in them which place them more easily in situations of toxic distress and anxiety.

How can we reverse this counterproductive situation, then? Through rapprochement, a presence, the sharing of ambitions, surpassing oneself and also the guidance and modeling (a technique used in behavioral therapy). Encouraging young people to socialize in person, play outside and limit their time on screens is a big step forward.

We are examples to follow and we must live up to it. Young people observe us and challenge us, but they also copy us, for better and for worse. When they tell me that their parents socialize and work virtually, the message for them is this: my father or my mother works from home, why not me too?

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