In a Montreal restaurant, disgust and wonder eat together.
The wonder runs wild: “No, but is the risotto here quite good?!” I think it’s the best risotto I’ve ever eaten in my life! »
Disgust pouts: “Y is correct. It always tastes the same. Chus tired of déjà vu. Already eaten. It’s time we change places. »
Wonder replies: “I like it here!” It’s beautiful and the music is good. Listen ! Listen ! This is Charlotte Cardin’s new song. It’s good ! Do you love him?
— Is not worse. Charlotte Cardin always releases good tunes. At some point, it gets boring.
Wonder takes a bite and says, eyes wide: “I can’t wait for the eclipse!” »
Disgust shakes his head, his eyes rolling to the sky: “The eclipse, we are not capable of it!” We just hear about it. Are we going to come back from this? The Moon will pass in front of the Sun. Yeah, worse!? I too, sometimes pass in front of the sun, and no one falls over my shadow. »
Wonder smiles: “You don’t understand. This is a very rare phenomenon. We are lucky to have a total eclipse in our home. The next time it happens in Quebec, it will be in 2106.”
— I hope they won’t talk about the next one for 82 years.
— Do you have your glasses?
— What, the bill arrived?
— No, not your reading glasses. Your glasses for the eclipse.
— The glasses that you can’t see with them? If I close my eyes, it will do the same.
—If you close your eyes, you won’t really see anything.
– Nothing to see. A circle passing over a circle. It happens in every games curling. Nobody gets excited about that. For me, eclipses go six feet over my head.
— That’s precisely 384,400 km going over your head. This is the distance between the Earth and the Moon.
—Are we talking about something else?
—Otherwise, will you slip away?
— Hey, comic, you’re going to finish your dinner alone…
– What do you want to talk about ? Canadian?
— That disgusted me too.
— From Taylor Swift?
— Chus a Swiffer.
—You mean a Swiftie. Like me !
— No, a Swiffer. I’m brushing it off, Taylor Swift.
— Well, we can talk about global warming.
— That makes us really sick of that!
— What are you not tired of talking about?
– It was nothing. Chus disgusted by everything! It’s all déjà vu. »
A few minutes later, in front of the restaurant, disgust says goodbye to wonder: “I have to go there quickly, it’s already 2 p.m. I have an appointment at 2:30 p.m..”
— What do you mean, you have a date? The eclipse begins at 2:14 p.m.…
— I don’t care about the eclipse… Oh, I have a text… My appointment just canceled me.
— Well, I understand it. Come on, let’s go look at her, in the park, in front of her…”
The two friends sit on a bench. The disgust is already tired: “I’m going to go back to the office. Anyway, I don’t have glasses. I can’t watch your eclipse. »
Wonder takes two pairs of glasses from his pocket: “I had planned this! Put them on, let’s start! »
Disgust grumbles: “Those glasses don’t hold up!” We see nothing !
— You have to look at the Sun.
— Where is it? I have to take off my glasses to see where is it!? OK, there it is. We just see a little circle. It’s like we’re looking into the optometrist’s device to find out how strong our glasses are. All that for a little yellow circle.
— Look, at the bottom right, there’s like a black spot…
— Is it a cataract?
– Well no ! It is the Moon which comes in front of the Sun.
— Don’t be in a hurry…”
HUGO-SÉBASTIEN AUBERT PHOTOMONTAGE, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
The different phases of the total solar eclipse seen from Montreal
Wonder watches the meeting of the Sun with the Moon with a blissful smile. Disgust looks at his phone, responds to his texts. Wonder warns him: “If you don’t have your glasses, you can’t look at the Sun, it’s dangerous. »
— Don’t be afraid. I have less dull things to look at.
— Wow! Oh ! Wow! It’s starting to not be flat at all…”
Disgust puts his glasses back on. “Aah… A crescent of the sun. »
— Have you ever seen that, Mr. Déjà-Vu!?
– No.
— A crescent of the sun, I hope Ginette Reno is watching.
“It’s starting to get cold…”
The wind picks up. The two opposites raise their collars. Daylight changes texture. Wonder screams with joy. Disgust would like to act as a killjoy as usual, but it does not, because at the moment, nothing is as usual. Everything is like never seen before.
Wonder takes off his glasses and says to his friend: “It’s 3:26 p.m., you can take off your glasses too. »
Disgust takes off his glasses. He looks around. It’s no longer daytime. It’s not night as we know it either. This is the silver minute. Beautiful and apocalyptic, at the same time.
And it is then that disgust, eyes wide open, marvels for a moment. A moment of wonder that will stay with him, forever and for a long time.
See “The eclipse in 17 seconds”