It’s still ironic that the expression “boss of kisses” enters into Little Robert at the same time as the soap opera of Ontario Liberal MP Francis Drouin is taking place, who called researchers “full of crap”. Mr. Drouin, whose sincere commitment to the protection of the Canadian Francophonie must be recognized, acted like a little authoritarian leader, a boss of the philistines.
This last word is, according to several authors, a distortion of “back house”. Imagine here the back of the house where the cabin which served as a family toilet was once located. This was before modernity transformed bathrooms into comfortable bathrooms nestled in our homes.
But whether you do it in a smooch or in a bathroom, the most important thing is to find the ideal position so as not to waste your time reading gossip magazines where starlets are photographed in their luxurious chalet while explaining that the most important thing for them, deep down, is the richness of the heart.
To approach this beneficial posture which prevents hemorrhoids and prolapse, those who know about it recommend the position of Thinker by Rodin, whom others call the Log Deliverer!
PHOTO DAVID BOILY, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
The Thinker by Rodin, at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts
One thing is certain, install an image of the famous Thinker in the bathroom can help you follow the guide better. Even if he cast a bronze to make it, I don’t know if the talented sculptor would have appreciated learning that his life’s work became a sort of planetary emollient.
If I tell you all this, it is to better flush the toilet and speculate on the reasons which pushed Francis Drouin to fall into gutter politics. Having traveled across a large part of the Canadian Francophonie, I know that some activists for the cause sometimes look at French-speaking Quebecers as margues who complain with their stomachs full when the time comes to talk about linguistic and cultural erosion.
However, it is not because French-speaking communities have much more worrying problems that Quebec should silence its concerns.
But failing to dwell on this sometimes complicated relationship which is part of what I call the third Canadian solitude, I will try to share with Francis Drouin my experience on the proper use of the word “shit”.
In question, its slippage is proof that the linguistic relationship that Quebecers have with mard is not just difficult for an immigrant to understand.
You will therefore excuse me for the overuse of the word “crap” in this part of my column. It is essential to the popularization of these jokes of French-speaking Canada that I am going to propose to Francis Drouin. However, I believe that he simply underestimated the violence of these words, because he is not usually one to stir up shit.
Besides, from the start, I’ve been talking about shit, not shit. There is a lexical reason for this choice which deserves to be underlined. Shit and shit, at first glance, they look pretty similar. The word shit is widespread internationally, while shit belongs to us, the French-speaking people of Canada. Among our friends from the rest of the French-speaking world, things may be going to shit in the fan, but it’s very rare that shit will hit as was the case in Ottawa.
This is why a shit searcher in France is not completely the equivalent of a shit searcher in Quebec. If the shit-digger is trying to get you into trouble, the shit-digger often finds trouble. He’s like a shithead and a shithead. The one and the other have nothing to do with each other. The shitty one is the one who pisses us off. The mareux is lucky enough to never set foot in it.
If Francis Drouin acted like the first, I still wish him not to be up to his neck in the thing, as the opposition demands. That would be the end of the matter.
This phrase caused me a lot of problems understanding. I tell you why. To my knowledge, apart from shapeless cow dung, real droppings always have two ends. So I didn’t know how to take this expression.
The question is all the more legitimate since Quebec also seems to me to be the only place in the French-speaking world where we find two levels of support. Here, we have the tip, but also the tip of the tip that no one can identify with precision.
By disrespectfully annoying the researchers who came to share their expertise, Francis Drouin was given a tank of his own medicine by Quebec nationalists of all stripes.
I have always thought that this way of delivering a full tank of material to another, where a simple boiler would have sufficed, testifies to great generosity between French speakers.
If all these previously cited expressions are pejorative, strangely, when you’re a marauder here, you’re lucky. Even more surprising, shit can even miraculously transform into little words of love that cement a couple or a family when the mother says with tenderness “create Boucar shit!” » or “poor little turd! »
I hope that this little lexico-scatological exploration will help Mr. Drouin to choose the right expression next time, because the correct use of the word shit can really be learned on the job. I’m going to stop here if I don’t want French speakers from one end of Canada to the other to finish reading this text by saying: “Boucar, he’s really crazy as shit!” »