The loneliness of their table neighbor upset them. His vulnerability too.
David Dumaresq and Vanessa Gohier were having a romantic brunch at a restaurant when the young man with intellectual disabilities started talking to them. “He was so endearing,” recalls the young professional who works in architecture.
The young man left without paying. The couple from Laval offered to pay the waitress’ bill. Their burst of generosity could have stopped there.
The scene affected the couple to the point where they decided to “sponsor” an adult living with an intellectual disability.
“That was the trigger, but we already had that sensitivity,” says Vanessa. “I had a friend with Down syndrome in elementary school and David has a cousin who is autistic.”
In their mid-twenties, the couple had few responsibilities—they still lived with Vanessa’s parents—and plenty of free time. David and Vanessa became godparents to Bruno, a Montrealer in his early thirties who lives with an intellectual disability.
Five years, one house, two demanding jobs and a baby later, young professionals are still in Bruno’s life.
No question of breaking their commitment, despite their busy schedules.
CHARLES WILLIAM PELLETIER, SPECIAL COLLABORATION
David Dumaresq and Vanessa Gohier have been volunteers at Parrainage civique Montréal for five years now. They now have a little girl, Tessa, who “adores” her parents’ godson, Bruno.
“We live in a world that moves so fast,” says the mother. “Bruno brings us back to the essentials; he reminds us that happiness lies in simple things, in shared moments.”
“His good humor is contagious,” adds David.
Volunteers wanted
The organization Parrainage civique Montréal, which has existed since 1979, now has an “urgent need” for new volunteers.
Its mission is to support the social integration of adults living with an intellectual disability or autism spectrum disorder. Some 120 adults are thus paired with volunteers in the metropolis.
But demand exceeds supply. By a lot. About fifty others are waiting to be matched. Some for five years.
There would be even more if it weren’t for the organization’s “difficult decision” to close the waiting list in November 2022; a list that has just been reopened. Due to lack of resources, the organization does not have an employee dedicated full-time to recruiting volunteers.
The goal is to develop a relationship of friendship between the godchild and the godfather or godmother. “We are not in the logic of helping or taking charge,” explains its general director, Christina Charron-St-Pierre. We are in an egalitarian relationship that benefits both.”
The challenge is the “long-term commitment” of volunteers, explains M.me Charron-St-Pierre. The organization requires a commitment of at least one year with the godchild.
“People are overwhelmed, work a lot. They feel less challenged by this,” she continues.
That being said, the volunteers experience such a rewarding relationship that they no longer feel like they are doing volunteer work, says the organization’s executive director.
Without taking anything away from the distribution of Christmas baskets, for example, we are talking about something more “deep”, “authentic”, she illustrates.
Volunteers have been involved with the organization for 15, 20, even 30 years. “It’s good for the soul” to be around people who are not neurotypical, says M.me Charron-St-Pierre.
The profile of the godchildren is varied. Some have slight disabilities, others more serious. They can be relatively autonomous as they can be under the responsibility of the State (guardianship or public curatorship). However, most live in a certain poverty and a very limited social network. The twinning is carefully carried out according to the interests and limitations of each, says M.me Charron-St-Pierre.
David and Vanessa testify to the happiness of having Bruno as a godson in the hope of inspiring others to get involved like them.
Give the example
The trio does activities every month. Each activity begins with “a good coffee,” describes Bruno, who is quick to tell us with pride that he, too, “works.” The thirty-year-old is an assistant janitor in a building in the Rosemont district.
Together, they played bowling – “I’m the best,” interrupts Bruno –, attended a Laval Rocket game and went camping, among other things.
Very spontaneous, Bruno announces to us that if he wins the lottery jackpot, he will bring his godfather and godmother’s family, in addition to his own of course, “to Mexico”.
Bruno lives with his parents and his brother Victor, who is also intellectually disabled. Maria and Manuel Fernandez are grateful for the arrival of Vanessa and David in their son’s life. It gives them some well-deserved moments of respite.
Vanessa and David are amazing. They are now part of the family.
Maria Fernandez, Bruno’s mother
The proof: the couple is now invited to family celebrations at the Fernandezes. Just like the couple who sponsor Victor through the same organization. When the photographer of The Press At the end of June, the three families celebrated St. John’s Day together with Portuguese sardines — Maria’s culinary specialty.
“For us, it is important that our daughter, Tessa, is exposed to difference and that she develops a certain sensitivity,” adds Vanessa. Beyond the difference, the 2-year-old is always happy to see Bruno, who does not need to be asked twice to play with her.
“It would be our dream for her to become a godmother one day,” says the young mother. The path is set.